Post # 1
We’ve recently made it public that we’ve set our wedding date and of course, in come the questions. We’ve asked FH’s niece and nephew to carry a sign that says “Uncle_______, here comes your girl!” because we really didn’t want to go the traditional flower girl/ring bearer thing, and we didn’t want one child to feel more important than the other. Well, my stepbrother recently Facebook messaged me and asked me if I wanted my niece and nephew to do anything. Enter panic/crappy aunt mode. I literally can’t think of anything for them to do. Since we said no to the flower girl and ring bearer, I can’t ask either of them to do it because again, I don’t want anyone to get upset over who does what. My niece will be 7, my nephew will be 3. We’re having a really laid back ceremony, we’re not doing a guest book so I couldn’t ask my niece to sit there and greet people (she’s at the age where she totally thinks she’s grown so I know she’d want to feel like she had a more grown up job). I feel like there’s no place for them. I feel like I have to find something for them to do though.
Any ideas? Please help me out here ladies.
Post # 3
I’d either have them walk down the aisle with the other niece and nephew, or maybe not participate at all. If you’d rather minimize the number of “mini-participants” I think that’s fine.
Post # 4
I would have your niece pass out programs/bubbles/etc. at the ceremony, if applicable. At her age it would be a good choice for her.
For your nephew who’s 3, I think you have to use your judgment because you know what type of 3 year old he is. Some are quite capable of having a role, others not so much. He could potentially assist his sister in handing things to people as they enter, or, you could consider another job for him. He may not need a role since he is not really going to remember, but you obviously don’t want to leave him out, so perhaps you could have him walk up behind the other two carrying the sign with a ring pillow. I know you said you didn’t want a traditional ring bearer/flower girl, but this may be your only way to incorporate him.
The other solution, depending on the ages of your FIs niece and nephew are to pair them up – the two eldest help to distribute programs, and the two youngest walk up the aisle with the sign.
Otherwise, don’t feel you MUST include them. You can always just tell your brother not to worry about it.
Post # 5
They could hand out programs or bubbles or help bring grandma to her seat?
Or help anyone to their seats, really!
Post # 6
What PPs have said, if anything. Or maybe have them say something along the lines of ‘I can’t wait for you to be our Uncle’ or just something cute during the ceremony because kids are cute!
Post # 7
Your stepbrother asked you if you wanted his children to do anything.
You can answer “No thanks.We are not having a ring bearer or flower girl.” or “Just attend the wedding!” (if you are having children attend.)
Post # 8
You can just say no to the question. You don’t have to include every small child in your extended family.
Post # 9
@NLbride: I hadn’t considered the bubbles and things like that.
@julies1949: I know, I just didn’t want them to feel like we excluded them, or picked FH’s family over them.
Post # 10
Could your niece pass stuff out and your nephew “escort” your mom down the aisle if you’re walking with your dad?