Post # 1
Since day one basically i could tell what my fiance’s mother was truly like and she has failed to disprove my theory so far.. We are planning our wedding for october next year and we are looking to buy a place before hand to live together. She is very snobby in every sense.. we want to buy a place in an area we can afford and that we are happy to raise a family in but all the mother in law does is complain about how far away it is (it’s only a 30 minute drive from her house) and i think she just snobs off the area because its not close to the city like she is. She’s never even been there before but she is always so quick to judge. It’s the same with where weve booked the wedding reception.. immediately before she even found out anything about it she has to say something negative and say we should have it somewhere else.. Where we are looking to buy just happens to be close to my family.. not intentionally but purely because its affordable so future Mother-In-Law makes passing comments about how convenient it is for my parents if we live close by to them.. she acts like its a competition but i know its all just insecurities on her end. Her partner recently left her and she is super reliant on both her sons so by us living a 30 minute drive away i think she thinks were just going to abandon her or something..she has plenty of friends and we would make the time to go and visit but she is such a snob and she is so interfering with her opinions on our future plans I cannot stand her!!!
Post # 3
@cuddlz88: Are her other sons already married? Or do they live far away?
It does sound like she feels she’s being abandoned. I wouldn’t necessarily say she’s being “snobby” but she may be feeling very alone.
Could you make a deal with her, something like we promise to come to your house for dinner once a month even after we move to show you we a really aren’t that far away?
Has your Fiance been living at home? With her partner recently leaving and if her sons are all leaving/have left too I can understand that she may be trying to hang on to whoever is left so she doesn’t feel so alone.
Maybe reach out to her and have lunch or coffee with her to let her know that you are not taking her son away and you do want to have a relationship with her as your Mother-In-Law as well as having a relationship with your own family.
Post # 4
@KatNYC2011: Trust me when I say she is snobby its not my imagination cuz the Fiance even agrees. She wants us to live close to her but its out of our price range and she suggests all these expensive places we should live that are even further away from where i live now so its not even about the proximity she just wants us to live somewhere that “sounds good” when she talks to people about us.
My Fiance and his brother are her 2 sons. Her other son still lives at home with her so she’s not by herself she just wants the control of having us live close by so that she can call on us to do stuff for her whenever she needs us..
i am polite to her i always have been as ive been raised to treat people the way you would like to be treated but she has always made me feel like i never measure up to her standards.. i dont know if shes excited bout us getting married or just excited about the fact she can go around telling people her son is having a wedding.. big difference between the two.. if u knew her u would know what i mean.. we will make sure to see her when we move out and she knows that but yet still nothing is ever good enough to please her i just dread having to deal with her crap for years to come
Post # 5
@cuddlz88: Ah ok. Then yes, she does sound snobby and a bit image focused.
Hopefully things will settle down a bit after the wedding.
You could always tell her you’d be happy to live in the nicer areas if she wants to pay the difference. That may help shut her up.
Post # 6
Don’t you just love pushy, controlling, opinionated, and overbearing FMILs? AGH! Just tell her you appreciate her suggestions and will keep them in mind, knowing full well that you have no intention of taking them to heart.
Post # 7
I think if her comments continue to hurt your feelings and annoy you both, then Fiance should talk to her and ask her to tone her criticisms down.
Post # 8
Thanks for all the feedback girls Iguess Ijust have to accept that’s how she is and she’s not going to change. We will just do what we want and live where we want she’s the only one with The problem so she can deal with it 🙂
Post # 9
Accept it and be happy you will be 30 minutes away!!!
Post # 10
Stop sharing info with her. If she doesn’t know; she can’t criticise.
And thank your lucky stars you’ll be 30 minutes away from the negativity. Could you imagine if she lived down the street and was being critical to you 24/7? Yikes!