- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Alright, so one of my BMs is one of my oldest friends. We have known each other since we were 8. When I made her a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I did not make her my Maid/Matron of Honor b/c something in me told me that she wouldnt be able to handle it. Little did I know that she can’t even handle being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. D: I have to preface that she has 4 children, and her husband has one from a previous relationship. So, I understand that she is a busy lady and thus why I also didnt make her Maid/Matron of Honor. Anyway, she has been MIA at everything I have invited her to, minus 2 events. And the 2 events she did go to, she was super late. The first event was me trying on dresses and she showed up as I was checking out (so 3 hrs late) and the second was when we looked for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses the 2nd time, to which she was an hour late. She did not make it to any of my fittings, to help me with invites, the first Bridesmaid or Best Man dress search, meeting for the BMs that they threw to talk about the shower and today was my shower/birthday party and she was also MIA. The thing is that for a large majority of these events, I always asked her what time worked for her the best since I knew she would be the hardest to schedule. So, she really should of been to all of them since she told me it was the best time for her. I even went to pick her up myself on the day we tried on Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and she wasnt home when I came. Since she has been MIA, my Maid/Matron of Honor and other bridesmaid have not been able to rely on her for shower/bachelorette plans, thus, she hasnt really done any real bridesmaid duties.
A few weeks ago, her husband lost his job and she is a stay at home mom. (My Maid/Matron of Honor also lost her job the same week) When this happened, I asked if she still wanted to be in the wedding since she lost her income. I also obviously asked because she hasnt shown up to anything. I told her I was fine if she needed to bow out and I would not be offended; that I just wanted what was best for her. I also told her that I wanted her to save her money for her family, not spend it on my wedding. (forgot to mention my wedding is destination, in Vegas) But she insisted that she still really wanted to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and that she could afford it still. So, we bought her dress for her the week before last since I felt that she was ready to commit. But then earlier this week I found out that she still hasnt booked her hotel or flight when the wedding is 3 weeks away! There is a big fight in Vegas that weekend and every hotel is booking up really fast! I told her she had to do it this week or she was most likely not going to be able to get a hotel she could afford. But, Im fairly sure she didnt book this week. Then, with her not showing up today, I think I am going to have to have this convo with her again. I know if I ask the same way as I did before, she is just going to say she still wants to. Honestly, I know she wants to, I dont doubt it. But I think she is somewhat in denial as to her involvement and as to how shes going to be able to make it there. I really dont feel she is ditching me on purpose or doesnt care. She has the best intentions always, but is just so flaky. Which is strange because in the almost 20 years I have known her, I have never had a problem with her being flaky like this.