(Closed) I have to give up my dog before my wedding and I'm depressed

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Years ago, my Dad died leaving behind two labs. I was single and renting. Who would allow me to rent with two dogs? I answered ad after ad and started off by getting right to point and saying I was looking for a place to bring 2 dogs. “you have called the wrong place,” was the most common response. Until finally one place said ok.

I don”t think you should give up your dog, and I would never ask someone to do this.

Post # 48
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I could never give up my dog. When I first started dating my Fiance, he didn’t even touch or pat the dog. My dog has some annoying qualities as well like he cries alot everytime we leave the house or when we are in the car or we’re at the park. vet says he has anxiety issues. but over time, my Fiance let his guard down and has learnt to love my dog now they cuddle in bed together. I think you shouldn’t give up on finding an apartment that is dog friendly and you should give your Fiance and your dog a chance to live together and bond. 

 

Also I can relate to your other drama, I collected my dress this week and was super excited and told my Maid/Matron of Honor. I said she should come by and we can wear our dresses together this weekend. All I got was a “we’ll see how it goes”. She hasn’t even planned anything for my hens. My mum lives overseas so I pretty much have nobody to share happy moments with. So I know how you feel but not in a million years would i give up my dog. He is my baby.

Dont give up!

Post # 50
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I have a dog that’s about 40 lbs. and live in a city where it is really, REALLY hard to find dog-friendly apartments (especially if your dog is 20+ lbs), so I understand what you’re going through. When SO and I looked at our current apartment in February of 2012, the ad said “no dogs.” When we asked, they asked what kind of dog she is (she’s a non-shedding, very people-friendly breed, so I’m sure that helped) and decided that they would allow us to have her in the apartment. It helped that we had a reference from our previous landlord, too. My point is, just because it says “no dogs” or “no pets” doesn’t mean it’s a definite. It NEVER hurts to ask! 

I personally would not be able to give up my dog, but neither would my SO. We love that pup like she’s our kid.

Good luck and don’t give up! 

Post # 51
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

[Comment Moderated for Personal Attack]

Post # 52
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@nber0815:  I second this post! We had a really hard time finding a dog friendly place for my husband and I and our 85 lb golden retriever. We looked at a place that said “No dogs”, but after meeting us and our dog, he said he would make an exception. Don’t give up!!

Post # 53
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@wvrunner:  I cannot imagine giving up my furbaby and I wouldn’t give up until I found a solution. What about a basement apartment? Can you broaden your search a bit? Even if it means a bit longer commute or not living in the same neighbourhood, it would be worth it to keep a member of your family. I’m sorry your Fiance doesn’t like your dog, which I assume would make it hard to convince him to move because of the dog. However, with some training I’m sure his behavioural problems will be resolved.

I hope you can find a solution!

Post # 54
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@PinkMermaid:  I feel really sad to read your comments. I can’t understand anyone feeling that way towards an innocent animal, but to each their own. You suggested that the OP should have gotten a trainer for the dog, and maybe you and your man should have taken that advice too. My personal opinion is that there are not bad dogs, only bad owners who don’t take the time, effort, and responsibility to properly train their animal. When you have a dog join your family, I feel that it is a commitment for that animal’s entire life. I wouldn’t give up on my child if he had behavioural issues and I wouldn’t give up on my dog either.

Post # 55
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It sounds like it’s for the best that you send your dog back to the breeders. If you’re planning to have kids soon, you’ll have to give him up eventually anyway. Isn’t it better to give him up now that you know you can send him to a good home? He’d likely be a lot happier with other dogs on a farm than in a small apartment!

Post # 56
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@wvrunner:  It’s really sad that you need to re-home your dog, but I agree 100% with your decision to prioritize your marriage and your future family.  A 65 lb dog who bites people is an unacceptable liability. I love dogs and grew up with dogs, but I would never risk my financial future or my childrens’ safety for a dog.

 

Post # 57
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

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@wvrunner:  I’m glad you posted an update, I think that it really helped clear up some things that were missing from your first post.

I’m really sorry that you are going through this. I’ve been in a similar situation and it broke my heart. Everything ended up working out ok for me, and I hope that you’ll find a good solution as well.

If you are sure that the breeder will offer your dog a FOREVER home, maybe it is a good option. You aren’t handing the dog over to a shelter, or to an inexperienced owner, or to a stranger, so that’s pretty big. Please keep us updated.

Post # 58
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 1993

@wvrunner:  I saw in your post that your dog has issues, and I know from first-hand experience that sometimes those issues make it impossible to have a regular, normal “human” life at the same time.  I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I think you are getting a really rough time from the fur moms on this one, so I wanted to let you know that I understand where you are coming from and why you needed to make the decision you did.  

Post # 59
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@beeintraining:  +1

OP – I am concerned about the fact that your Fiance doesn’t like your dog enough to have no qualms about your giving him up. This is based only on the information provided. If my Fiance hated my cat to the point where I would be giving the cat up and the Fiance didn’t care, he wouldn’t be my Fiance in the first place. If you date me, you are also dating my cat. Take it or leave it.

ETA: Ignore post – did not see OP’s update.

Post # 60
Member
203 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@wvrunner:  I know it’s stressful, but there are still other options than giving your dog away.  Obedience school will make a world of difference.  These are some apartments that I found on padmapper.  Some are in Marietta and some are in Raleigh.  They are all dog friendly and one even specifies that they are large dog friendly.  I don’t know your budget or what these areas are like, but I was able to find them pretty quickly.  One does say breeds that are 20 lbs are less, but you never know what they say if you call.  I just want you to know that there are other options than giving your doggy away.

 

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/apa/4016529731.html

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/apa/4018336231.html

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/apa/4016419652.html

http://parkersburg.craigslist.org/apa/3954253039.html

http://parkersburg.craigslist.org/apa/3967774695.html

http://parkersburg.craigslist.org/apa/3915886514.html

https://www.padmapper.com/show.php?type=11&id=104510481&src=main

Post # 61
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

After reading your update I think you are making the very difficult, but ultimately right decision. An apartment complex is not a good place for a dog that size w/ fear biting issues. Sounds like the breeders will be able to give him a great life w/ plenty of space and other dog friends. Just imagine if you took him to a cramped apartment and he bit a neighbor’s child. You’re making the right call.

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