Post # 1
I feel like I’m planning my own bridal shower! This sucks.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is amazing (even an event planner) but from my view letting plans not get made. Since she doesn’t know anyone else in the wedding party or our families and is across the country & doesn’t know our area I may not be getting anything. I know it would be challenging for me too. Also since none of our friends or family live here so we pushed any parties until wedding weekend.
Now that we’re 3 weeks out and people have booked flights etc she wants to know if we can do it on a day when people won’t be in town yet. :/ I’m having to call people, check schedules etc only to tell her I don’t think it’ll work out since the day before the wedding is already booked up.
maybe people have secretly been planning w/out me but it seems like if I don’t help out, it won’t get done.
Post # 3
You cannot plan your own shower as that is rude. As a bride, the only thing you do is provide the guest list and show up to the party. The rest is the responsibility of all of your bridesmaids, not the bride or her mother. It doesn’t matter that your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t know anyone else, she still needs to contact them and work together on a shower for you.
Shower invites should have been sent out shortly before you sent out the wedding invites. This late in the game, you will have to make do. If it means an impromptu party the day before the wedding, then that’s what you do. Also, keep in mind that a shower is not a requirement, contrary to popular belief.
Post # 4
I’m sort of in a similar situation in that I live in one state, all my family lives in a second state, and my Maid/Matron of Honor (my only bridesmaid) lives in a third state. I just gave up and am not having a shower. I don’t want to tell you not to have one if your really really want one, but if it is turning out to be more stress than it’s worth, it might be best to just let it go. You’ll already have enough to think about the week of the wedding. Unfortunately sometimes you just can’t make it happen 🙁
Post # 5
Just to share my experience, none of my bridesmaids knew each other at all (or knew our families). And we were also dealing with everyone being geographically spread out. So the situation looked sort of like what you’re describing – logistically, it just didn’t seem possible that things would get done. So I just expected that I wouldn’t have a shower.
Then, unexpectedly, one of my bridesmaids offered to throw my shower. She planned it almost by herself all the way from London (we had it in NYC). She didn’t know anyone and had a college student’s budget but she did an amazing job. It also took her just a few weeks to put it together. She asked me some questions about preferences and that’s it.
My point is, it is absolutely possible to plan a shower without knowing the other guests or living where the shower is. You shouldn’t have to plan your own shower! I would just have a talk with your Maid/Matron of Honor and explain as much. Give her a guest list with contact info and suggest she ask your other BMs for help if she needs it. All of this assumes that your Maid/Matron of Honor wants to take on the responsibility of throwing you a shower, of course, which is by no means a requirement. If not, as @greenleafmountain said, sometimes in this situation you just don’t have a shower.
Post # 6
I may end up with no shower and that’s fine it’s just so up in the air since its not planned. Family keeps calling to find out if its happening,when,where and I just have to say “I don’t know”. I wish we could either get definite plans or scrap the whole thing.