Post # 1
I’m not sure if my dad will be attending my wedding or not and it honestly breaks my heart into a million pieces. I was always a daddy’s girl up until age 14 when my step mother entered my life and stole him away from me. I always called him daddy and I don’t feel a girl is ever to old to call her father daddy but unfortunately my step mother does. My step mom is an evil one. She isn’t allowing my dad to help pay for the wedding. Well, he could but she spends all of his money on junk and says she paid the bills. I know this because I stayed with them for a month a few months ago and saw her doing it in action. I’m a kinda sneaky person and pay attention to things that you don’t think I am. My dad is an over the road truck driver therefore he isn’t home to witness a lot of stuff. My step mother has always been terribly mean to me. When I was in school I was in all honors classes and made straight A’s but she treated her own children who were into drugs and everything else 10 times better than she treated me. When I was a sophmore I told them I wanted to look into becoming a lawyer and she laughed at me and told me I was too stupid to be a lawyer. When my step sister got married they focused everything on her and missed my honor’s banquet and FFA banquet because they were out wedding shopping. Right before my step sister’s wedding I started school but they wouldn’t buy me school clothes because her wedding was more important, so my dad’s boss went and bought me them. My step mom made me pay rent at age 14 as soon as I got a job. $100 a week to be exact. My checks were $140 and I had to pay for my gas and insurance too so I had a grand total of $6 a month after paying “bills” at age 14. My step sister had about a $5,000 wedding. Mine will cost more than that but they only paid for $55 of mine. Yes $55. Me and my step mother got into an argument tonight and she told me that I am being selfish and it isn’t my dad’s responsibility to pay for my wedding although he paid for her daughters. And then she brought up that no one helps them pay for the taxes that they owe the IRS but I never knew that was a child’s responsibility. I don’t know what she will tell my father or if she will keep him from coming to the wedding. I have tried to open my dad’s eyes but he just doesn’t seem to care. I guess I can say I know what it feels like to not have parents. Mine are dead to me even though they are physcially still here. My mother lives about 20 miles from me but she is so far gone I don’t even know what to say about her. Sorry this is so long I just needed to vent and get a little off of my chest before I have a nervous breakdown.
Post # 3
Sorry you are going threw this.
Have you asked your dad for a little help when she wasn’t around? Maybe mention how hurt you are that he helped your step-sister more than he’s helping you and that you just want to know that he’s there for you. I’d even go as far as saying (if it’s true) that the money doesn’t even matter to you it’s his SUPPORT you want and need. I’d have a serious talk with him about it.
Post # 4
What an awful situation! Your step-mom sounds horrible. Things like this make me so mad for you. Although it is not a requirement for the parents to contribute anything towards the wedding, the way your stepmom is handling the situation is infuriating. I am so sorry you’ve had to deal with this woman for so long.
I know you’ve said that you’ve tried opening your dad’s eyes, but have said so much to him as you mentioned in this post? Did he try to discredit what you told him? Or did you just not paint so clear a picture to him of how she makes you feel and why?
Post # 5
I have talked to him about it. Everything you just said I have told him. And I have told him I don’t want his money. And the money doesn’t matter to me at all. I have no problem paying for it at all. My Fiance and I both have great jobs and all I really want him to do is offer ya know, kinda make up for the past years.
I have and I really don’t know how much clearer I can paint it for him. I think he is coming to FL on Sat. (they live in SD) by himself. I’m not sure if he is coming to my house but I think he is going to my FI’s brother house which is about 6 hours north of my house and I think I am going to go up there and talk to him face to face and let him see the hurt in my eyes and maybe that would do something for him then. He kinda sticks up for her some what though. When I say she was mean to me, he says well you gave her a hard time. I HATE this woman with a passion and I have for quite a few years but when her son and his wife had a baby a few months ago I let her and my stepsister that I can’t stand now stay in my house. And you know what they did? They sat in MY living room while I was in bed sick as a dog and talked crap about me to my FI’s children. Saying it was pathetic that they were up and I wasn’t and that I should be up fixing them breakfast. His daughter is 10 years old and she likes to play mommy and fix her and her brother both breakfast everyday by her request. She also loves to exercise with me and my stepsister told her that it’s “unhealthy” for her to exercise. Then she was telling them about the wedding and saying how excited she was to be a flowergirl (this was when she was 9) and my step mom told her she was too old to be a flowergirl and that I was stupid for picking her and not Kaylin…my stepmom’s granddaughter and my FI’s kid’s cousin. (lol, that sounds incest but it’s not I PROMISE! We are not even related by marriage, save that for another post)
Post # 6
Ugh. I feel for you. Hopefully you can make some headway with your dad when he comes down. Good luck!