- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I have to share this story of my mom. It’s a real doozie. I’ve been doing better with not expeting anything from her, actually just expecting poor things in fact. I got a good book called Cutting Loose which is not really about cutting out people but redefining your parental relationships. Just what I needed.
My mother has not seen me get married and I’ve been married twice now. Both times resulted in being very small affairs with 2 witnesses. This is the same mother who said she couldn’t get on a plane to come see me get married (with all expenses paid sans flight) – saying, “Go on without me, I can’t do it!” but wanted to know if she could still come out the following month for her “vacation.” Buh? She also got on a plane just 4 months after I tried to get ger to come out here for a wedding, but this flight was for a vacation in Florida with my sister. And she has flown here 2x prior.
(You may or may not remember all the drama surrounding my mom and my wedding, but it was overwhelming with her WTF-ery.)
So I flew home for the first time in 8 months to see my family this past weekend. We’re at my sister’s party she is throwing for my 1 year old nephew (very nice party at a Mexican resautrant). We’re dancing, having fun and visiting with cousins. She declares to the entire room, “You know what this family needs??? A WEDDING!!!!”
I just gasped and stared at her! No words could come out!
I chose to not make a scene at the party as I was having a nice time, but the next day I brought it up very calmly and inquisitively. I said mom there WAS a wedding 6 months ago – my wedding. She rolled her eyes, made some disgusted face and then mumbled under her breath and turned her back to me. I asked her what did she say as I didn’t hear it. She roller her eyes and didn’t respond.
OK then! I am no where as upset as I would have been a few weeks ago. I’m learning to slowly detach from her. I don’t share details about my life. I keep our conversations generic. I know all the issues lie in her and not me. I will never understand her and that’s OK.