- 1 year ago
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. He left for commercial diving school in the South a couple months ago and I’m up here in New Hampshire. I started renting his master bedroom when he left.
Long story short, I never ever want kids. Recently, I was visiting him in SC and I overheard him talking with a friend of his and he said, “I keep thinking I wanna have a family but I love traveling and I don’t want the responsibility.”
I asked him about it and he said he doesn’t want kids “at the moment” and that he doesn’t know if he’ll change his mind since people do change their minds and that he loves traveling etc but “you never know”.
We’re so in love and have an amazing relationship. I could see myself marrying him but this is not the first time I’ve gotten a creepy feeling that he’ll want kids someday and we are just not compatible. It seems to me it’s more of a timing issue than “never”, like it is for me.
I feel in my heart of hearts, his desire to become a father will become stronger and having a child or two will become a burning desire, like it is for a lot of people. We’re 30: this sort of thing becomes more pressing as time goes on.
We were talking via text Friday and I realized this is a major issue we can’t ignore. He has texted me a few times since then but I didn’t want to start anything while he’s on a kayaking trip so I didn’t say anything about this. Very soon, I’ll have to tell him I’m moving out before he comes home to visit in 2 1/2 weeks 🙁
Help me be strong in this decision. I know we are not compatible but I fear he’ll try to convince me we are and that I should stay and see what it’s like when he visits etc. I know I need to walk.