(Closed) I have until tomorrow to decide and I really could use some advice :/

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 4
Member
1761 posts
Buzzing bee

Well, it seems to me that moving is the best option. A long commute every day for just a few short months isn’t too bad. It’ll be tough, for sure, but it won’t last forever. Maybe you’ll even grow to enjoy it (listening to books on tape, or music, or whatever). I think it’ll relieve the tension your Fiance has about living where you do live, and that’ll make your life better overall. That’s my two cents!

Post # 5
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If you Fiance doesn’t feel safe in the apartment, then I really think you need to move. Everyone needs a place to feel at home. And even if its inconvenient, it sounds like he really needs to move in order to have that.

Post # 7
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree that it is best to move and in the long run will be better for you guys.  You can figure out something with school I’m sure!

Post # 8
Member
7408 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have lived in the “city” part of major cities almost my whole life (including Los Angeles and Baltimore- Hello Crime!) and I have never walked out to see my wheels missing off my car.  I think you should move.

Post # 10
Member
46422 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

1 hr 20  min is too long of a commute for me. Just because you had one incident would not be a reason to abandon my apartment for me. I had a break- in the first year I bought this condo- before  I met Fiance. It is a ground floor condo. I had security bars put on- they look like white window panes- signed on with a security company, and life goes on. I have never had another incident and that was 9 yrs ago.

Do you have an alarm system for your truck? If not, that would be my first move.

Just because one bad thing happened in your neighbourhood, doesn’t mean it’s ever going to happen again.

Post # 11
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

Personally, I would make the sacrifice to move and while the commute would be awful, I’d suck it up. I do understand both points but I just have to think “…for the greater good of the relationship…”

Emotional decisions aside, since you already signed the lease for the new place… won’t you still be on the hook for that? Did the landlord/leasing office say anything about a buyer’s remorse sort of thing? Typically once you sign, you’re locked in.

Post # 14
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Can you afford your hour twenty min commute if gas goes to five or six dollars this summer?  Can your Fiance afford to get to work in his truck if that happens?

I think moving to this location sounds silly.  And I think you slightly resent that you are moving to where FI’s friend is when you moved to the city to be a couple.

You should tell Fiance you don’t want to move, and find another place with LOCKED, COVERED parking in your current location.

Or not.  Just my thoughts.

Post # 15
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

By the way, I’ve had the same sort of thing happen to me. With my ex, I was going to move into his apartment in the city. The weekend before I was to move in, we discovered to find his truck broken into, tailgate stolen, all scratched up, and the truck lining was torn up. It was a VERY pretty penny to fix up.

I wanted to move to another place in town but he wasn’t having it. We moved to another city and I just commuted more than he did. Even though it meant nearly an hour commute to work for me each day, I sucked it up. We moved to a smaller town where Walmart and the local steakhouse were the big things to do. On the plus side, living outside the city usually means a lower cost of living (our rent was significantly cheaper for the same level of living).

I totally hated it but since we both felt safer, we determined it was worth peace of mind. Peace of mind is nearly priceless. I also “enforced” a standing date night, where he took me into the city once a week, lol… it was sort of my compromise. Again, while the commute sucked, I felt safer when he wasn’t home.

Like you said, it is hit or miss… but I would still move.

Post # 16
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

@Benavis1489:  Well, at least you have an option then! I know it’s a tough decision and is understandable to be torn…  good luck. Undecided

The topic ‘I have until tomorrow to decide and I really could use some advice :/’ is closed to new replies.

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