(Closed) I haven’t slept in days due to this (probably more emotional but I had to post)

• MademoiselleL
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: August 2012

@SimplyChic11:  That letter sounds perfect!  Let us know if they say anything in response.

Just thought I’d point out you forgot a word in your letter before you print it (I can’t help it, it’s the teacher in me):

I do apologize for them doing this behind my back when my fiance specifically discouraged them not to.

Good luck!

• StarryNight2011
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: May 2011

@SimplyChic11: I don’t know if your privacy rights were compromised in this situation or not. It is definitely worth talking with the folks at the university involved to see what information was discussed. If information about your grades, financial aid or attendance in class were discussed, that would be against FERPA. If your Future In-Laws were told general attendance policies for classes or department policies, that is not protected information. Your Future In-Laws may have heard what they wanted to hear in a general attendance policy, drew their own conclusions and twisted it from there. That’s why I think it is a good idea to find out what information was actually discussed.

Still a good idea to make folks at the school aware of the situation, so that in the future your information isn’t accessed by Future In-Laws.

Just as a personal note, I don’t apologize for other people’s actions. Really, the only actions I can apologize for are my own. But that’s just me. 

• creativeplannertobee
• 9 years ago

@jujubee421:

Agreed!!!

• mightywombat
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: June 2011

@SimplyChic11: I think it sounds good.

• StarryNight2011
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: May 2011

@SimplyChic11: Again, the class/department/school attendance policy applies to all students and is not protected information. If your Future In-Laws asked how many classes you have missed and they were told that info, that may be an issue. If your Future In-Laws are as crazy as it sounds, they may have identified themselves as your parents….you just don’t know until you talk with someone about what was actually said.

If, for example, your Future In-Laws knew the instructor’s name (maybe because you or your FH had mentioned it in previous conversations), they could easily have looked up when that instructor teaches class and that instructor’s contact info (all of that is public info and usually easily searchable). Your Future In-Laws overstepped boundaries by contacting the prof (which is why I think you feel your privacy was violated), but keep in mind the prof may or may not have released protected info-that’s why I encourage you to talk with them first, then follow up with an e-mail.

I understand totally that you are upset by the situation and rightfully so. Just make sure you have the correct information before contacting the school about privacy violations.

• teamajax13
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: October 2011

@SimplyChic11:Yeah,that sounds good. Yeah my university has a strict policy ,too. They shouldn’t have talked to them at all. I would make sure to warn your other teachers,too.

Ya know what? Since they opened their pieholes to her, what if you asked the person who talked to her about it to type you up some kind of letter saying…. Dear @SimplyChic11: I was contacted by _____ and told them ______. I felt as if I coudln’t divulge the entire situation to them, but as you know, you cannot miss classes. etc, etc…. People are depending on you….etc, etc. Just wanted to make sure you were informed of this situation and the fact that missing classes will not be acceptable, as I have told you before.

I mean, that is if you even still care about what they think. I mean Future Mother-In-Law went overboard, so I don’t blame you if you just really don’t give a hoot about it anymore. But I’m sure ole jabber jaws would be happy to remedy the situation he has made in order to protect his butt with the school. Good luck…..

• MightySapphire
• 9 years ago

I think your letter is fine and will smooth things over with your professors.  A face-to-face conversation would really solve a lot of your queries right now, so maybe just wait to talk to your profs. and ask them what was asked, answered, etc.

I also like the suggestion by

teamajax13 to have them reiterate the policy in a letter.  Not that you need to prove yourself to anyone, and frankly your Future In-Laws owe you a huge apology.

• teamajax13
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: October 2011

@MightySapphire  I agree. Def ask what was said….

and yes…they owe you a huge apology. So I think it is them that needs to do the booty kissing, not you…LOL

• teamajax13
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: October 2011

You poor thing 🙁 My goodness…seriously…. excuse them for making a grown a$$ woman explain her actions to them. Some of us get the crap end of the stick on in-laws…… Good luck tomorrow…..