I helped pick my engagement ring but now I have 2nd thoughts

posted 2 months ago in Rings
Post # 2
746 posts
Busy bee

bride2020may : Fiance’ sounds like he might be comfy with the price point, and that may be the reason he said no to the upgrade.  If it were me, I would ask if the jeweler if they could buy it back, and apply the price to an upgrade, and I would pay for the upgrade myself. Personally, I think the stone is a nice size, and it’s  a beautiful ring. You have lots of options for wedding bands to pair with it, too.  However, you have to be happy with the ring, so if it feels too small, treat yourself to an upgrade. 

Post # 5
6429 posts
Bee Keeper

bride2020may :  It might because you brought up a larger size prior to receiving the ring and you said no.  So he might not  want to adjust it again after you’ve already said no.

Post # 6
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

bride2020may :  Coming from a bee who helped pick her setting and then found the weddingbee and drooled over all these gorgeous rings… you picked out your ring for a reason. You loved it before you saw “what you don’t/can’t have”. There will always be something flashier or bigger, especially on here.

I promise, it may take some time, but you will love your ring again! It took me a long time to make peace with mine, and while I sometimes still think about if I had gotten this or that, I am SO happy I didn’t change the beautiful ring he proposed with! 

For what it’s worth, it looks beautiful on your hand, perfectly proportioned. Think about your priorities and what’s important to you. Your fiance’s feelings and your upcoming wedding perhaps? 

Post # 7
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Your ring is beautiful 😍

the wedding bee does have a way of dazzling one’s eyes into wanting a lot more and bigger sparkle! 

It will pass. 

I’d give it some time, and then quietly upgrade it yourself later, if you truly feel bigger suits your lifestyle & makes you happier. 

All I have to do is look at 2ct stones in person to realize it’s too large for me, and be happy again with what I have 😉 

Post # 8
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

It’s beautiful and the size is perfect! If you’re conflicted, maybe consider buying yourself an upgrade at one of your anniversaries. 

Post # 9
2917 posts
Sugar bee

It’s a very pretty ring and a gift that you have already agreed to.

I suggest that you spend your energy on finding a very beautiful wedding band. People seem to spend much less time and effort on it and yet – as I can say after almost 32 years of marriage – it is the most important ring of all. 

Post # 10
8173 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Supersleuth :  

bride2020may :  pp above is absolutely right. A beautiful ring, carefully chosen and freighted with love and symbolism.

l suppose it makes me a censorious old bat, but l am frequently quite shocked at the attitude to engagement rings l see on these boards, it’s so much focussed on size and impressiveness to others and perfect specs and all. My heart lifts when l see a post just saying hey,  l’m so happy, we just got engaged, look at my ring!,

Post # 11
2888 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I honestly do not understand these posts. Not trying to be a negative Nancy but I just don’t get women who have a say in the ring they get and still choose to not get what they want lol. He specifically asked if you would like the larger size and you said no. An upgrade would be another expense and it will never be your engagement ring. I suggest finding a blingy wedding band if you want more sparkle. 

Post # 14
872 posts
Busy bee

I think you need to suck it up. You had 100% say in the engagement ring you got and you did a lot of research and picked the ring you wanted at the time. 

Of course there’s always going to be a bigger and better ring out there. That’s life. 

I also don’t feel sorry for you because he specifically asked you halfway through the process if you wanted to go up a size and you said no. That’s your own fault for not getting what you wanted there. I guess I don’t get why you even mentioned it to him then if you were just going to shoot down the chance to get what you changed your mind to??

You can get an upgrade for an anniversary if you still want something else. But this just screams #FirstWorldProblems to me and you’re coming off a bit greedy 

Post # 15
1407 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Honestly I have a 8×6 solitaire and I love the timelessness of it. Sure big halos and setting are popular now, but I’ve been wearing my ring for over 2 years and still get compliments on it (most people assume it’s a diamond). I would not have gone any bigger that’s for sure and sometimes I actually wish I went 7×5 (size 6.5 finger). If you really need to dress it up get a wedding set with a guard or a blingy band.

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