Post # 1
I hate having to go incognito for this. I want to be honest and take claim but I am so ashamed.
I hit my OH, twice.
I was drunk and don’t remember it at all. That’s no excuse. He wont talk to me and slept in the spare room.
I don’t know what to do. If it were the other way round, I’d have left already. Should I disappear and save him anymore pain? Will that even work?
I’m an awful person.
Post # 3
i’m not sure what OH stands for… but i’m going to assume it’s an adult.
first of all… apologize. second… stop drinking since you obviously don’t make good decisions with alcohol. talk with him to see what he wants to happen.
Post # 4
@altpseudonym: You screwed up, he has every right to be angry, be the bigger person, leave, put yourself up at a hotel and leave a note saying you are ready to talk when he is.
Post # 5
Apologize but also give him space. You can’t force him to forgive you and he probably need space and time to process what happened. It’s tough to say without knowing the details, but it may be a good idea to enter a counseling program for drinking and/or substance abuse. This can help you avoid this happening again and may help him see that you are serious about changing.
Post # 7
Most likely just a type-o and I’m going to assume its Darling Husband. +1 to what PPs have said.
Post # 9
@Blush.Champagne: I tried doing a search and came up with this: http://www.wlbt.com/story/19624418/ohio-womans-discovers-husband-is-her-father
Anyway, I’m interested to find out. Something-husband?
Post # 8
OH = Other Half.
I would, as PP suggested, go to stay at a hotel and offer to talk when he is ready. I’d also look into AA or another 12-step program. If you can’t control your anger or physical response when drunk, then you have to stop drinking, period. I’m not the kind of person who thinks running around town acting silly and blacking out means you have to stop drinking, but physical violence is a line that you cannot afford to cross again, and if the alcohol is a factor then the alcohol has to go.
Post # 10
Why did you hit him? Were you joking? Did you do it out of anger? Did you hurt him? I know you say you were drunk, but there must be more details you can share. Anyway, give him space until HE is ready to discuss this.
Post # 11
Well, if he was here I would be telling him to leave and end it.
Being drunk is certainly not an excuse. It being the first and maybe only time is not an excuse. This is abuse.
Go to a hotel or a family member’s/friends and leave him a note with your contact information.
At this point you need to let him be and let him decide when he is ready to talk. And you need to get yourself to counseling right away no matter what happens with your partner. Call Monday morning and make an appointment. I also second the recommendation of getting into an addictions support/treatment group.
Post # 13
As a domestic violence advocate, I would say that you need to get your drinking under control and commit to a batterer’s treatment class or some other form of counseling and do it for yourself rather than to get your partner back. I think that’s the best thing you can do to prevent that behavior in the future whether it be with this SO or another.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
@fishbone: +1- OP, you should definitely stop drinking and disappear until he’s ready to talk to you. This is really serious and I feel for both of you
Post # 15
I think we need more information about the situation. Why did you hit him?
Post # 16
I too am curious to hear more information.