(Closed) I hope my wedding day isn’t the happiest day of my life!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@fishwoman:  good for you for letting it go.

I just said to Fiance this morning “Hey, we could add a bathroom to the house for what the wedding is costing us…” 

But a bathroom is not going to fill us with joyful memories.  Andif it did, well, that’d be weird.

Ours is an admittedly small scale affair, total budget around $6000 and that includes out of state travel for us and our 3 kids… 

We are a same sex couple and we’ve waited so long for this.  We’ve been together 7 years now, been through so much.. I think it was worth the wait and I have gotten comments too about money.  My family is super tight (as in a bunch of tightwads! lol) and my mom about fell over when I mentioned a $600 wedding dress.  She still thinks a pair of jeans should cost $11 like they did in 1975.  So yeah, whatever.  We are paying for it all ourselves, and it’s no one else’s business, really, how we choose to spend our money.

🙂

Post # 5
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had no feelings of guilt – I was pretty much overjoyed when the day happened.  My parents paid 100% for my wedding and they gave us a really nice wedding.  Was it necessary?  Of course not, but this is something they have always dreamed about doing for me and they are in the financial situation to do so.  I am very grateful that they did this for me, but I don’t feel guilty by any means.  Actually, my husband and I having the best day this far of our lives meant the world to my parents knowing that it was because of them that they were able to provide us with our dream wedding.   

Post # 6
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with you.  I don’t like the statement that it’s the happiest day of your life (just like high school is the best years of your life).  If the bests in my life are over, what else is there to live for?

But don’t feel guilty for having a lovely wedding as long as you can afford it!

Post # 7
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We are financing our wedding ourselves and definitely spending more than we “should” be spending (we actually had to take out a small student loan to pay for the end of the wedding, but we already had student loans so I didn’t feel too bad about tacking on a bit more).  You should spend what you feel comfortable and try not to focus on what others are telling you.

But overall, I totally agree with your premise.  My mother and Future Mother-In-Law think it’s ridiuclous that I don’t care that my bridesmaids are all wearing different dresses and different shoes and I handed my florist a jump drive with pictures of flowers I like and told him to do whatever he thinks is best with my budget.  I keep telling them that I am focusing on developing our marriage and a stable household (me, him, and our two cocker spaniels) and it doesn’t seem to resonate with them.

The few times they do agree that your wedding shouldn’t be the “best” day of your life, they just tell me that having kids is when that happens.  Uhh, we’re not planning on having kids and I plan to have an amazing career that gives me lots and lots of joy.

Post # 8
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t like thinking about what our wedding cost. It was about average as far as I know but still an exorbitant amount of money. Our parents contributed a little less than half and we did the rest. It was all terribly middle class and Western, but you know what? It was totally us, it was what we wanted, and I let go of the guilt too. It wasn’t putting us in any debt, we had a home and were financially comfortable, not to mention we are adults who get to decide how to spend our hard-earned money. It was probably the best day of my life *so far* – but I’m assuming we will have many more!

Post # 9
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

I am a bit of a frugal type of person. I insisted that my e-ring cost well under $1,000 because “I don’t care about jewelry”. And I really wanted to have a elopement or VERY small wedding in place of spending thousands of dollars that might better be spent towards a downpayment on a house. I knew many people that regretted spending as much as they did on their wedding, and I really didn’t want to shell out that much money for a glorified party.

FH on the otherhand, wanted the expensive traditional wedding. So it has turned into quite the extravagant affair. We are estimating that it may cost us $10,000 out of pocket for a 5 hour wedding–what we just spent on a 3-month backpacking trip through all of Asia! Blows my mind really… but I know I can’t be stingey about everything. Money is meant to be spent and we usually spend wisely. I have just begun a well paying job and hopefully FH will be working again soon…so I think we will easily recover and I am sure the memories I will have of all my family (coming in from all over the US) will be priceless.

Post # 10
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

i also spend night and day thinking of ways to cut costs everywhere! i want it to be a great day but i dont want to spend my entire years salary on it either.. 

Post # 11
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You know, it is that exact phrase I repeat to myself when I find myself doing something stupid, like obsessing over chairs or linens. Brings me right back down to earth.

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