Post # 1
…to get put on BC pills.
I’m a little heartbroken, but I’m trying to hold it in. James wants to wait to have a child now (since the previous MC in November). I was hoping we would begin TTC again right after the wedding Sunday, but he isn’t on board with it at all and I don’t want to pressure him. I’m just terrified, because it already took 1 year of actively trying (NTNT, just no charting) before a BFP and MC…….so now, if we start trying again, I’m worried it’ll take even longer and I still won’t know if there’s anything wrong with me (ETA: I’m ‘young’ enough to where the age isn’t really a factor if we wait even 5-7 years, but healthwise waiting could prove to be an issue). BC pills make me nauseous/irritable, but he is dead set on no kids for another year or two. It breaks my heart, but I understand his reasons. I’m trying to be brave, but I’m so ready to have a child. He is also fully prepared to use condoms as well as myself being on BC; that’s how much he doesn’t want a kid anymore right now.
Sigh. I just needed to vent. Everyone else in my life has also told me to wait to have children, despite it not being any of their business (and the fact that I didn’t ask the ones giving ‘advice’.) I guess I can wait a year, or two, but it’s going to be really hard. I don’t know how well I’ll handle it. Especially since I just found out last week that the mutual friend that introduced James and I is pregnant, as well as another mutual friend that we know. It’s really hard. UGH. :/
Post # 3
@AcheneMalefic: Oh no…I am sooo sorry….That’s horrible!!!! Maybe he will change his mind in a few months…Big hugs lady…So sorry.
Post # 4
@AcheneMalefic: Aww I’m sorry. Have you explained your concerns with him? What does he say. What is his reasoning behind not wanting to try again right now. I am sorry about the bc pills, they also made me sick. Took me years to figure that out though.
Post # 5
Very sorry about your situation. Like, Izzy81, I’d like to know what his reasoning is for not wanting them for a while. Is it just the devistation of the MC or is it something else? Maybe he has a legit reason for not wanting to, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I hope everything works out for you in the future.
Post # 6
If you decide to hold off on TTC, is there any way he’d be open to using condoms instead of hormones? If you get irritable and don’t tolerate hormonal BCP very well, there are other options. Also, if he changes his mind and you guys decide to start TTC again sooner rather than later, you won’t have to wait for your body to regulate after coming off BCP.
Post # 7
I am so sorry he changed his mind to no baby for now, but did he say exactly why he changed his mind? Is it cause maybe he wants you to just get better physically after your MC ?(sorry about that too btw) I would try to talk to him about it and how you feel about going back on bcp. If you really don’t mind waiting then try to seek other methods to prevent. I am sorry again and i do wish you the best..feel better:)
Post # 8
we were actively ttc for 2 years and when i finally went to an RE at a fertility clinic for help, they put me on bc! they said itll help jumpstart my ovaries. and i got a bfp our first cycle! we did use other things like letrozole and injections but they said if it didnt work, theyd put me back on bc for a month or more to restart. and keep repeating that til it worked. im sorry about your m/c. those are so hard. i hope your second chance around trying for the LO wont take as long as the first! xo
Post # 9
His reasons are mostly because he feels like it’s his fault we MCed. I know he is having a hard time with it, and I am too, so I understand. He told me we could TTC now if we wanted, but he’s scared something will go wrong again and it would devastate me more. I think he just needed time to heal. We did TTC last month with a BFN again, so I’m really just frustrated at this point (not at him, of course). Now that we’re married, he has seemed to be way more open to continuing TTC. I haven’t taken BCP yet, since AF isn’t due for 4 more days, so I’m letting him have this time to really decide what he wants to do. I did tell him that if I reacted negatively to BCP, he would have to use a condom (which he’s fine with). However, last night he told me we could have a baby “soon, really soon” so I’m hoping after AF this time, we’ll TTC with charting. *fingers crossed* I know he wants a baby, he’s just worried about me. He has about 4 days before he needs to give me a definitely TTC or hold off answer, so I can either try taking the BCP or begin charting. Hopefully, hopefully he’s ready now. LOL.
Post # 10
Update: He wants to wait 1 year to begin TTC. So that means I’ll be waiting until this December/January (he said 1 year after we are married, so this Dec. 30th). Sigh. I understand that he wants to wait, but ARGH. Next year I’ll be back on the TTC boards with hopefully good news! Thanks for the support ladies! (I’m positive I’ll still be lurking here until then though lol)
Post # 11
@AcheneMalefic: So sorry about your MC 🙁 If I were you I would definitely not want to go back on a hormonal birth control. I’d look at other options that might allow you to have more control over deciding when to TTC again. I know it is different for everyone, but for me it took a while to understand my cycles and for my cycles to somewhat regulate after coming off BCP. Good luck!