(Closed) I just don't think I could do it…

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@LovelyLaura8:  I believe the first part of being a good mother is knowing your own limits. If you think you can’t handle it, then kudos to you for recognizing that. You can adopt, stay on your meds and still have a full, beautiful family. My best frien is bi-polar and her and her partner decided to get pregnant. She is bi-polar and has obviously been off of her meds throughout her pregnancy. She does have rough days, but she says the baby pulls her through. Just wanted to let you know there is hope!

Post # 5
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@LovelyLaura8:  Aww.  I’m so sorry. There are days I feel this way too. I’m not bipolar but I do have depression and anxiety, which I’m medicated for. I also have fibro and Crohn’s disease that cause me to take other nasty, not TCC/pregnancy compatible medications. I also worry about having the energy to keep up with little ones and cope with being sleep deprived. 

We are still a full year and a half away from starting IVF (because of a genetic disorder husband and I both carry). I worry but husband is trying his best to reassure me that we will make it work, no matter what. I’m just leaning on him a lot right now. 

I hope you find some peace with whatever you decide. Lean on your husband. Also, my doctors tell me there are some medications for depression that are safer in pregnancy. They also say that often times, having the mother be healthy in pregnancy often outweighs the risks associated with some drugs. There are also new drugs coming out frequently. Maybe something new and safer will be out before you guys start your family. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself.  

Post # 6
3017 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m really sorry you’re having a hard time. I think a lot of women have an idea about what motherhood “should” be, and it can be hard when it doesn’t pan out that way for you: wanting a natural birth and having a C-section, wanting to breastfeed and having to formula feed. I know that’s not the same thing, I’m just saying. I know not carrying your own children and not being pregnant if you want to experience pregnancy and birth could be really hard, but I think there is tremendous strength in knowing your own personal limits. I think it shows an intelligence and self-awareness and ultimately what it takes to be a good parent- concern for the well-beling of your child, even if that child isn’t born yet. I think it is amazing that you and your husband are adiscussing different options and that he gives you his full support no matter what! I think that if you truly want kids you will figure out a way to make that work, whether through adoption,surrogacy, etc. If you decide you can’t handle them then I think that is a responsible and respectable decision as well. I hope you figure out your meds and start to feel better soon. Remember that things can change, and you could be in a different place a few years from now. It sounds like you are fortunate to have such a great husband that will support you no matter what you decide. 

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