- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Firstly I would like to state, I have no concerns about being married to my Fiance. I am looking forward to being married. However I couldn’t care less about the wedding. I don’t want to plan it any more. I don’t know or care about flowers or aisle music. I couldn’t care less about what colour napkins I have and I am so so tired of having to deal with my emotionally unstable mother who is trying to help but just making it worse.
So as some background, I am not a girly girl. I never really expected to get married and I certainly have never dreamt of my wedding day. What I want from my wedding, is a nice relaxed fun day, I don’t care if it’s coordinated and sophisticated, I like the idea of a marquee in a field with a bonfire and cushions under trees and so forth.
Everything has been a struggle, nothing I do is good enough for my mother. Right at the start I found a really sweet wedding dress in a charity chop for £125, but apparently it wasn’t wedingy enough and I wouldn’t be happy with it, so I had to go shopping and try on more dresses including being dragged to a boutique where they were all far too expensive and of course there was a gorgeous one that I couldn’t afford. I like my current dress but I still don’t understand why the first wasn’t okay.
With the venue, she was so obsessed with one place and so negative towards any others that we only looked at this one venue and it’s lovely, but it doens’t have any trees and I wanted trees.
She pushed for bridesmaids dresses from an online site and they had a great range so I went with it and now they don’t fit so I’m having to try and argue for refunds.
These all sound petty when written down but it’s just constant. Nothing I do is right, nothing is good enough and people will advise to talk to her, but when every differing of opinion is taken as a personal attack followed by her bursting into tears and asking why you’re so horrible – it’s tough. Also massively unfair.
The Fiance is okay, he tried to help but he doesn’t seem to realise how much there is to do and keeps trying to book plans for the weekends, we’ve only got 10 weeks left and both work full time.
I hate that I’m always stressed and tired and that Fiance trying to have a relaxed night in, have wine or being horny makes me anxious and I know there’s so much stuff I have to do.
I don’t know how to choose a hair and make-up person and again have to upset my mum by just not going with the lady she knows. We haven’t got flowers yet and she’s going to insit on coming with me to talk to the florist and she will just talk so much and have so many ideas that it will confuse me and I’ll have no idea whether what I come out with is what I want or not.
Sorry this has just become a random rant, I don’t even know why I’m posting, I just don’t care any more. I’m looking forward to the day after the wedding (we’re spending it in a pub with friends), but the wedding itself – uurgh. It’ll be mental on the day and I have a whole week at home before it, which should be a fun and exciting time – we’ll be doing DIY and so forth, but I’m dreading it. Two days at home is generally all I can cope with.
I want to be excited, my dress arrived and I’ll be trying it on next weekend but meh – I can’t muster any excitement at all.
So yes, sorry for the rant. There isn’t much to reply with but I just needed to put it out there so that hopefully I can let go of some of the anxiety and move on and enjoy the last two months.