Post # 1
So, my wedding is in one week and I can’t wait for it to be over! In the meantime, I have some complaints to get off my chest!
I think I’ll just keep this mom related. I could go on about my coordinator, lighting and transport too…but I just don’t have the energy right now.
- my mom told all of her guests (23ppl of 150) to wear a tux to our casual wedding.
- my mom’s dress is almost identical to mine, but in blue…she also paid more for her dresses (yes…plural) than my dress cost
- She also bought my dad and grandpa a tux to wear last month when she already decided they would wear suits six months ago. My Future Father-In-Law bought a suit specifically for the wedding several months ago and can’t return it.
- my mom told my Future Mother-In-Law that she would host the rehearsal dinner so that she could invite all of here guests. My Future Mother-In-Law was not happy and now feels left out of the wedding. Future Father-In-Law also doesn’t know when to give his speech that he already wrote when he first found out we were engaged.
- my mom then proceeded to have me put together the budget, menu, location and all information for the rehearsal dinnner. I’m the designated point person for this the day before the wedding. I was hoping I would be able to relax…
- she also insisted I arrange for transportation for her guests for the wedding (which is screwing up our transportation and photo timeline)
- she also has me cooking for her and going to the grocery store for her the week of the wedding. (She is coming from CA to OH and has celiac so I can sort of understand this…but she also could have rented a car so I could get my to do list done.)
- she promised to take some of my friends to dinner when they were in town. REALLY nice gesture, but now I’m booked every night next week and will be hard-pressed to get some of the things I need to do done.
- my mom has reminded me at least once a month how “expensive” I was to raise and how inconvenienced she is by paying for the wedding (she’s not paying…my grandpa is, but I “stole” her inheritance)
- She also wouldn’t agree to a ring warming ceremony. So we had to change that this month to something else.
- She keeps complaining about not meeting my future in-laws, but she never wanted to meet them before I was engaged and she doesn’t want to meet them now unless they pay for dinner. I offered to host a dinner and she declined. I offered to pay for dinner, she declined. The in-laws are so put out by the rehearsal dinner issue that they aren’t inclined to take her out (to the restaurant she specified).
I could go on, but those are the ones that are bugging me right now.
I just had to get it off of my chest. If I sound like a b***h, I’m sorry, but I’ve been through a lot over the last year and change and I’m just fed up that my mom still doesn’t seem to care how her words or actions are effecting me. All she wants to know about is if her guests are being catered to and if she can depend on me to do what she’s asked me to do. I’m beginning to wonder who’s actually getting married…
Post # 3
I’m so sorry she is giving you a hard time – i have a girlfriend who is seriously contemplating eloping (but i know she dreams of a big wedding) for the sole purpose she does not want to plan a wedding with her mother. I know weddings are super important to the moms but this takes it a little far – i would seriously put my foot down and not do some of it, she is a grown woman she can grocery shop and call for transportation for HER friends…because honestly if i could do it all over again i would have taken more time for myself that week leading up to the wedding. You want a day or two of being able to relax or wrap gifts and write notes. i felt so rushed those last few days.
Post # 4
Ugh, I’m so sorry you are dealing with that dear! You do not sound like a bitch – most of those are just horrible on your mom’s behalf! And I REALLY hate it when parents try to guilt their kids about how much they cost to raise – like, really??? No one forced you to have a kid, and if you do, raising them right is part of the package.
The thing that makes your situation even more egregious is that your mom isn’t even paying for your wedding! How has she gotten so much say in whats going on?
Post # 5
I know its too late now, but you really should have put your foot down at some point with your mom. I would not have let her take over the rehearsal dinner, who cares if she gets mad??? This is not HER wedding!!! I really cannot stand it when family members go ape shit over weddings. I thought my mom was going to be annoying with planning, but she was really great throughout it all, which made me really happy. I wish more moms were like mine when I planned… ((HUGS)) its almost over!!!!
I think once everything is said and done, maybe do something nice for your ILs and apologize for your mom. It sounds like they are nice people who want to help with their sons wedding, and your mom just bulldozed everything
Post # 6
(((HUGS))) It’ll all be over in one week! Once you have a chance to gather your thoughts in a less stressful environment I would talk to your mom and let her know how disappointed you were with her behavior.
Sometimes it seems like the “kids” have to teach the “adults” how to act:)
I’m sure your day will be wonderful and you’ll enjoy EVERY second of it! Congrats in advance!
Post # 7
@drakela2: So true. I’m so sick of being the “mom” in the mother daughter relationship! You know it’s bad when my mom has accidentally (not in joke or sarcasm!) called me mom!
Thanks everyone for the support! I wish I would have put my foot down earlier. Hell, I thought I did, but the tantrums just get getting worse and I just took the easy path which, turns out, is pretty hard this close to the wedding! Anyone not married yet or still early on in the process LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE!
Oy…one week…just one week… “just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” Lol.
Post # 8
@staceynrick: Your almost at the finish line and you wont have to worry about her wedding related stuff anymore……HUGS!