(Closed) I just feel…guilty…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

So sorry you are dealing with so much.   I think it’s admirable of you to think of others during what should be your time of happiness.  I think everyone (including you) deserves to have their moment of happiness and that you should proceed with your wedding (maybe a modified budget if your parents can no longer help you out).  It’s okay to put your hard earned money towards something you want, even when others need help. So, not I don’t think you should feel guilty about wanting your wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

You are under a lot of pressure right now.  All of those things happening right now and NOT planning a wedding are a lot to deal with.  It sounds like there are a lot of factors to weight.  You are definitely not a selfish person.  I can tell this just by your post.  I truly hope everything works out.

Post # 5
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Aww sorry things are so rough right now. You shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting a wedding but having said that do you think you could enjoy the day more if you were paying for it yourself? Or do you think you’ll still feel guilty spending the money on a wedding period? I guess I would think about if the guilt is about taking money from your parents in which case I would wait to pay for it yourself. If it’s just spending any money on a wedding then you should just let it go and enjoy your day 🙂

Post # 6
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m really sorry things are so tough. I don’t think you should feel guilty for what you feel – it’s not as if you can help it! Will the sale of FI’s place free up cash or is it all being ploughed into the chain? Do you get a kick-arse house at the end of it? I guess I’m just saying that sometimes, all you can do is focus on the positives and make the most of a bad situation. But ranting about the negetives with friends can help get you to that point. Acknowledging when things suck helps me to let them go..

Post # 7
Member
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so sorry!!! It’s a sucky situation (or several) but I don’t think it’s guilty to want your wedding. Given circumstances, you have have to make some adjustments, but your wedding is important too! And guilt is not usually a useful emotion. So start thinking practically about what would be best. But don’t waste time feeling guilty!

Post # 8
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

You wrote “stay financially stable”. That is vital to your well-being as a couple. 

A wedding is important, but it’s maaaybe 4-7 *hours* long. The home you two are going to share is the more important thing. If you have to choose between spending money on a home (that you need, that you could lose) vs. spending it on a nice party, obviously you should go with the home. The fairytale is nice but think of your beautiful future, think of having a place for your kids to grow up in. Maybe postpone the wedding until you can save up for the wedding you want? Please, please don’t be bamboozled into thinking a party has to cost TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to be beautiful. I’m sure you could have a great wedding on 5,000 dollars.

Post # 10
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@cant.wait.to.be.mrs.d:  I feel SO guilty for spending this much money on something that is non-essential. Like a wedding. I love him, I want to marry him but financially it is crippling us. Causing rows and grey hairs. I just can’t wait til its over and we can pay everything back!!! It is spoiling my excitement.

Post # 11
Member
7781 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Normally, I’d say cut back on the wedding, but . . .    it sounds as if you have a solid, albeit wretched and realistic plan for getting everything paid off.

If Fiance needs to sell his house and only has to bring $5K to the table, he’s in pretty good shape for this market.  And don’t hesitate to ask your agent to cut her comission.  They will grouse about it, but they can do it.  Most agents won’t let a deal fall apart this close to closing over a few bucks.  It won’t hurt to ask.

Post # 12
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m surprised you’re going through with the sale. Would it be worth it to take the house off the market for 6 months- 2 years? Our market bottomed out and is now on the upturn. I’m pretty sure a few houses that were taken off the market in the last few months are waiting until they can get more for the house. 

It also sounds like your sister is draining everyone’s finances. Can she get a loan or find a lawyer for those who cannot afford their own? 

Post # 13
Member
7781 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Real estate is regional.  In some places it’s still dropping.

I!m in SoCal and if  I could buy my way out for $5k, I’d throw a party.

We’re a long way from the bottom, the banks are sitting on too much inventory.

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