I just got dumped…

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee

I had a different but relevant situation happen. I originally had my wedding on a tight timeline, and I didn’t ask a close friend because she’s an ex-pat and I didn’t want to pressure her to commit to attending on such short notice. So I asked someone else in the slot I would have given her. Then circumstances changed, we pushed our wedding date out, but FH wanted even numbers. I explained to her the situation– that if the timing was different I would have asked her and she took it pretty well.

A few months later, I had a drop out, and I approached her, and she was pretty happy to take the now open spot. I generally think close friends get it. 

Post # 17
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Firstly, you didn’t get “dumped.”  Saying she “dumped” you implied that she did something wrong or that your relationship is over.  You say her reasons for stepping down are valid, and you’ll probably feel better about the whole thing if you treat it as “life sometimes gets in the way” rather than “she dumped me.”

Now that that is out of the way, there really is nothing wrong with just having a best man and the juniors. It isn’t going to look “odd.” No one will judge you and anyone who knows your friend will just hope that everything is okay with her. In a week, no one will even be able to say for sure how many people were in the bridal party. It’s simply not a crucial detail. I would not stress over it. 

Post # 18
Member
3184 posts
Sugar bee

My little sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor waited until two weeks before my little sister’s wedding to drop out. She kind of expected it because the Maid/Matron of Honor never bothered to buy her dress. It happens. 

My other little sister had a falling out with my older sister. She was only going to have my nieces be her Bridesmaid or Best Man and flower girl. Both girls were taken out of the wedding due to my crazy B older sister. She just subbed one of my sisters. 

Post # 19
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I didn’t have a bridal party and asked my SIL the day before and had a quick bouquet made for her she wore her own dress …. it’s your wedding and I agree asking someone who will understand with the courtesy of telling them about the late request BC the last thing you want is for them to find out from someone else. On the flip side I actually love the uneven look esp in posed photos using props like chairs, height etc 

Post # 20
Member
3730 posts
Sugar bee

My husband had a groomsman drop out at the last minute, and he couldn’t make the wedding as a guest either. He did NOT replace the groomsman. The wessing party doesn’t have to be even, and just because you had a Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t mean you have to have one in the end. Just leave the group as is, and don’t offend somebody by asking when it’s so painfully obvious they are a backup.

Post # 21
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

MrsTCC :  What about sibilings?  Does your Fi have a sister?  My Brother was Bridesmaid or Best Man for his Brother-In-Law because his Bridesmaid or Best Man dropped out the week before the wedding.   If my Maid/Matron of Honor dropped out, I would be asking my SIL’s to decide which one of them would be my Maid/Matron of Honor.  My Maid/Matron of Honor was going to start TTC so we wanted to have a backup plan incase she was bedridden or giving birth during my wedding. 

Post # 22
Member
916 posts
Busy bee

MrsTCC :  I wouldn’t replace her, but that’s mainly because if I was the one to replace someone, I wouldn’t accept it. And there’s no way you can go around it, they’re going to know they’re the second choice. So I just wouldn’t have a made of honor and would stick with the girls I DO have. 

Post # 23
Member
958 posts
Busy bee

MrsTCC :  few years back when my friends got married, her own sister refused to do all the pre-wedding duties of helping her, or just friending her to the bridal shops for wedding dress trials etc. She sort of ditched my friend to sort out everything n being sisters they even had some arguments which ended up with my friend in tears etc. Eventually, my friend decided to rope me in to help out (nope i wasn’t even her bridesmaids – she has three sisters so it was already too many bridesmaids and a Maid/Matron of Honor who refused her job) but retained the Maid/Matron of Honor position for her sis who refused to help. The wedding was beautiful.

It’ll be up to you to decide if you can cope with doing all the pre-wedding stuff with help from your fiancé and others and get your close friend to be there for you specifically on your wedding day only.. xx

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