(Closed) I just had an Oh Sh*t moment! Possible guest list issue!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would call her ASAP and just explain that you want to mail the Save-The-Date Cards instead of handing them out. If she is like “oh its no problem, I’ll just hand them out” you can explain that they are just so special and you are sooo excited to mail them b/c you can’t wait to her their expressions after they receive them in the mail (basically be really excited about mailing them) as to deter her from insisting on handing them out.

Then I would ask her for the mailing addresses 🙂

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ohhhhh no. Okay. Damage control. Call Future Mother-In-Law and ask if she’s given/sent any out. If she says yes, tell her you need names and addresses. THEN ask if you can have the remaining cards back because you “had a neat idea for packaging” (or some other leeeeettle white lie) and ask if she could give you the names and addresses of the other people and you’ll take care of sending them out.

I take it you already have a guest list otherwise you wouldn’t have known how many Save-The-Date Cards to order right? I’d just say that you’ll take care of the people she already knows/ had input about on the guest list.

Post # 6
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah definitely nip this one in the bud.  I’d sit down with your Fiance and show him exactly how this could pose problems by doing what he did – not in an angry way, but in a “hey did you know that just the FOOD is costing us $80 per plate so we really need to be on the same page with invites?” kinda way.  As for your Future Mother-In-Law, if you go to her directly rather then have Fiance fix the issue he created, then just let her know that you wanted to follow proper etiquette by mailing all the STD’s out, and in addition to that it’s very important for you to have an exact list complete with addresses for the formal invites so that no one gets missed. 

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