(Closed) I just hate bachelor parties

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@SnoopDog:  Exactly, it’s not even his Bridal Party, and why the hell a married man has any business to be there?

Post # 34
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@goldfish2308: Umm, he was invited to attend his friend’s bachelor party? No? 

Post # 35
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2924 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@Veranyc:  Girl, be emotional all you want. You don’t need to work on not being you. However, do it before talking to him. I’m pretty emotional myself and had to learn how to let it out in healthy doses then put it away for talk time. I’m still a little cray when taken completely by surprise, but life’s about learning!

Post # 36
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@SimplyKia:  Sure, I don’t know them personally and don’t know their relationship and yes, with most guys anything can happen.  I guess that’s where trust comes into the picture?  You can’t control another person, your husband or otherwise.  They will make their own decisions whether you give them permission or not.  From what I read into her post though, she’s not concerned about the lap dance issue, it seems like her guy wouldn’t do that.  At the end of the day though, you can’t absolutely predict anyone’s bahavior.  Trust!

 

Post # 37
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@SnoopDog:  And no one put a gun to his head and say he must go. I thought the idea behind Bridal Party is that after wedding the man wont look at any other women besides his wife. No?

Post # 38
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@goldfish2308:  not really, no. What about husbands who watch porn? Go to nude beaches? Even public beaches? Some of the women are dressed quite immodestly to say the least. Men are visual creatures, there is nothing wrong ( in my humble opinion) to look at beautiful women. Now lusting and cheating- that’s a whole different story

Post # 39
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@SnoopDog:  Well Im ok with my Fiance watching porn (if he ever has the need to) because that is something personal and private.  Nude beach is different because I doubt anyone would put their boobies in my man’s face at the beach. 

I like looking at nice male bodies too. Do I watch porn? Yes. Do I go to strip club? No. So I guess it’s time to throw away the crappy theory that men are visual creatures. It is the same crappy theory as men cheat because that’s their sexual instinct. 

Post # 40
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@DreamingofDiamonds:  Yes, trust comes into play. Clearly, you have to trust your SO other, however you also have to respoect your SO and consider his/her feelings like you consider your own…meaning, don’t put yourself into a potentially bad situation if 1. it makes your SO uncomfortable and 2. you are aware of the “what ifs”

Post # 41
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@goldfish2308:  well, I agree with you that men cheat because its their sexual instinct is a crappy theory. However, I still do not understand why he can’t go to his friend’s party? Just why? I don’t get it… I get the whole breaking his promise thing, I really do. But I still don’t understand why he can’t go to hang out and socialize with his friends. It’s not about him, it’s about him being there with his FRIEND and celebrate the fact that his FRIEND is getting married. Oh and no stripper is going to flash her naked boobies in their faces. Unless, of course, the men want to!:)

Post # 42
Member
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

While I share the bewilderment of many posters as to why men need to have their bonding time at places like strip clubs, the fact remains, many of them do. It’s, for lack of a better word, traditional. And many men, unsurprisingly, find it emasculating to be told where they can and cannot socialize with their friends.

OP, it’s not clear what you want your husband to do. Given that you know without question that his group of friends celebrates their impending nuptials by visiting strip clubs, for you to extract a promise from him that he will never set foot in a strip club again seems self-defeating. Why not compromise and make a special bachelor-party exception to your request?

Post # 43
Member
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@Veranyc:  My Fiance isn’t doing a bachelor party like this (he’s more of a fishing trip/round of golf type of guy), but I’ve always wondered why men decide to uphold this “tradition” when it causes so many problems.  Especially when this so called “tradition” is actually a fairly recent advent (originally bachelor parties were usually black tie dinners hosted by the groom’s father).

I don’t have anything against strippers (in fact I’ve been friends with a few of them), they are rarely interested in your man, if they’re even intrested in men at all.  I do have a problem with the lying, broken promises and disappointment that strip clubs tend to bring into relationships though.  For some couples strip clubs are ok, for others strip clubs are cheating.  There is no right or wrong, just what is right for your relationship.

Post # 44
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Veranyc:  

i feel the same way about strip clubs. In saying this though, my husband isn’t interested in them and he didn’t want to go to one for his bachelor party (phew). But he has been to a few mates bachelor parties where there were naked waitresses etc and that was no problem for me – the focus is on the groom to be, not a random guest. Needless to say, I felt sick about the thought of what he was seeing …. so i just stopped thinking bout it.

Post # 45
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@housebee:  Amen to the strippers not being interested in the men. There’s only one thing the lovely ladies care about in the club, and that’s how big your man’s wallet is. I’ve only been to a handful of strip clubs but I have noticed that the guy in the corner with $2 isn’t attracting much attention. It’s no different from any other job – when I’m at work in corporate America I really could care less about anyone I work with, I’m interested in my paycheck and what I can do to make it better.

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