(Closed) I just hate bachelor parties

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@bunnyharriet:  Wow, that guy sounds “classy”

To OP, I think I read it from another bee on here and it’s a great way to put things into perspective for your man.  Put together a super sexy dance routine and give him a little strip tease.  At the end, tell him to imagine you doing this with another man because that’s what’s happening when he goes to a strip club.

Post # 63
4434 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Veranyc:  Wow, did you really say “those kind of women” — stereotype much?!

But that aside, the bachelor party is a tradition, and lots of peer pressure circles amongst guys to go and participate, especially when post college they don’t see each other a lot (as in my husband’s circle of friends).

Think of it this way, he passed on the strip club when it was his party and all “those kind of women” ‘s attention would have been on HIM.

Now he’s going to other guy’s bachelor parties to encourage those whose turn it is to get married.

Obviously, I am in the camp that doesn’t believe bachelor parties are a big deal, but I do agree with other posters that he shouldn’t have made a promise he would later break.

Post # 64
11734 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is he able to attend the party, without going to the strip club portion? I just don’t think it’s fair to prohibit him from the party just because part of the night involves a strip club.  Don’t really have any advice to give because, while I see why you’re upset and I would be uncomfortable too, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal and wouldn’t care if my husband went to the occasional bachleor party at a strip club (even though I didn’t want him to have strippers at his party).

Post # 65
2267 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with OP about “those kind of women”. You can say what you want, but there is something to be said about a woman who will strip naked and turn herself into a sexual object for money. There are also strippers who are willing to put on a live sex show (using a vibrator on herself or another stripper, eating each other out ect) for money. To me, strippers are generally gross women who have little to no respect for themselves. I would rather struggle financially than objectify myself.  Even if these women are not bad people, they aren’t the type of people I would want my SO spending time with. 


Post # 66
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

For the record I have no issues with my SO going to a strip club for a bachelor party or similar personally, but as some of the pp’s have mentioned I think the big issue here is that he broke his promise and in doing so is disrespecting OP. That I do have an issue with.

I got really upset even hearing you say that your SO’s friends and brother texted you several times asking if can they please bring him to a strip club on his Bridal Party as if they are trying to break you down to say yes. WTH! Your SO should have put a stop to that before they even bothered you. Sorry OP but he needs to man up, stand up for you and just say no! You don’t make promises if you don’t intend to keep them and this is not a difficult one to keep. If you accept it and forgive him with no reprocussions this time, then what happens next time?

I would not answer his texts and pretty much not be there when he gets home. I would go to a friends house and just leave a note saying disrespecting me in the way you have done is not ok with me and I think you should consider what I and this relationship means to you and when you are ready to respect both me, and our relatioship again then you can call me to apologise.

I know everyone will probably think I am being harsh but why should you compromise when this is something that seriously hurts you? Why can’t he compromise on this? Will it seriously hurt him not to go? I wouln’t think so. She is not saying he can’t go to the party or bond with his friends, it is just the location that is the issue.

Post # 67
202 posts
Helper bee

So OP, what you’re saying is that your husband went to strip clubs on occasion before you got married, but now that he’s married you expect him to have changed?  Always take people for what they are before you marry them and don’t expect them to change, because that just sets yourself up for disappointment.  You let him know that it bothered you but then you said you ended up backing down from your stance and he went to the strip club anyway, so you really didn’t do anything to show him how seriously this bothered you.

Post # 68
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

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@bunnyharriet:  yikes.

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@goldfish2308:  yeah and it’s your man who purchases and intiates any sexual transaction, not the sex worker. She doesn’t give two cares about your guy. Why would being in the presence of a sex worker turn a faithful, loyal guy into a cheater all of a sudden?


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