(Closed) I just have to get this E-ring thing off my chest!!!

posted 10 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Do you agree with me??

    Yes

    No

    It depends

  • Post # 32
    Member
    3993 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @Treejewel19:  Exactly. It IS a generalization and of course it is always subjective and based on how it’s presented by the person who has the issue. To me, the “double standard” is more rare, since it’s rare (though not unheard of) that people complain of rings being too large. At least in my experience. There is nothing wrong with liking larger jewelry. I think it goes back to my first response though – I think both parties should help make the decision so as to avoid the issue altogether. That was my solution anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 33
    Member
    6414 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I was glad to get a ring at all… very glad it meant I was getting a husband instead of another boyfriend. =) 

    Post # 37
    Member
    5534 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @Treejewel19: 

    I think it probably would bother me less, yes. I think I feel that in general, women who want big e-rings don’t want them because they actually prefer larger rings; they want them because they see it as a status symbol.

    Eg one of my best friends is adament that she have a $15k ering, that’s as big as possible. Now, she does not wear big, blingy jewellery; she actually prefers understated jewellery. But she wants a ‘huge’ ring (her words) essentially to show-off how much money her OH has. And I find that really sad; it kind of cheapens marriage to me, and makes engagement more about flashing the cash than anything else.

    If someone genuinely wants a big ring, then fair enough; but if their OH can’t afford one, I do think it’s unreasonable to expect one, or bitch about a smaller one. If you love your OH, you should appreciate them spending what they can afford, not want something bigger and ‘better’.

     

    Post # 38
    Member
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @Keylime Pie:  I think a lot of the reason people post about it and complain is that there is so much stigma against disliking your e-ring. A lot of woman are afraid to voice their unhapiness IRL or to their Fiance, so they come here and vent. I don’t know too many other communities, but the Bee is very bad about villanizing girls who are considering asking for a different ring.

    That being said, I agree with the eariler comment that there is a huge difference when the reason you don’t get what you want is that he really doesn’t have the money.

    Post # 39
    Member
    12340 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @Keylime Pie:  Well, cause I thought these boards could be an outlet.  I would certainly never tell my husband I didnt love my ring (well, cause I do) but if I REALLY REALLY had to get it off my chest, this would the place to do it.  But it also leads to the fact that maybe a girl did express her desires for a ring, and he completely ignored it (I cant for the life of me understand why a guy would), but maybe he did, and hence the complaint.  There is so much going on behind the scenes, that just because someone might be complaining, I dont think everyone should jump down her throat and tell her she should be grateful because – insert whatever reason they may have.

    Post # 41
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @les105:  I totally get what you are saying and I would feel the same as you in that situation. I was particularly sensitive to it when we started looking at rings, because I wanted a stone on the large side for the specific reason that I have fairly big hands for a woman, and in particular long fingers. So I wanted a ring that would look proportionate to my hand.

    But, that said, I think that’s different from what the OP is talking about; you (and I) didn’t want a bigger stone for the sake of impressing other people or looking wealthy. (I ended up with a halo style made up of what most people would consider “dirty-colored” diamonds, and I think it’s absolutely exquisite.) ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 42
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    if SO picked me out a tiny diamond I wouldn’t be happy, because i don’t like small jewelry at all. I have size 8 fingers and dainty and understated don’t fit my personality at all so the bigger the better. 

    We have a tiny budget and I think the cost of diamonds are rediculous anyways so we are going to order through carat.co which does a simulant. I don’t think it’s a status symbol in the “we have money” way but for me (although I DOOOO love seeing all the gemstone rings) an ering is most clearly identified as a white “diamond like” stone. 

    That’s just my two cents

    Post # 43
    Hostess
    7941 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @Keylime Pie:  While I agree what with

    View original reply
    @barbie86 said in the concern of wanting more than you can afford etc I don’t see any reason why women should be reemed and judged for wanting something spectacular, within reason of course. It actually frustrates me when people insinuate that posters who complain about their ring (regardless of the reason) must not love their fiances. That isn’t an assumption anyone should make. Again just stirring the pot I suppose as I don’t really fit into any of the scenarios mentioned.

    I think it comes to what

    View original reply
    @AmeliaBedelia:  said about shopping together and having a better understanding of the expectations in general. Communication will allow both parties to know the limitations while keeping in mind the overal hopes and perhaps finding a middle ground (if there is one?).

     

     

    Post # 44
    Hostess
    7941 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @Keylime Pie:  And side note…I am totally craving some Key Lime pie now. Thanks alot! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Post # 45
    Member
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    People like to complain, moan and want things they don’t have- such is life. Threads like this serve no purpose other than to shame people into feeling that their emotions are wrong. While I’d never complain about my ring who am I ( or you? ) to tell someone they can’t? I get it is a First World problem, but hey a problem none the less. 

    Post # 46
    Member
    12340 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @barbie86:  If someone genuinely wants a big ring, then fair enough; but if their OH can’t afford one, I do think it’s unreasonable to expect one, or bitch about a smaller one. If you love your OH, you should appreciate them spending what they can afford, not want something bigger and ‘better’.

    Totally agree. 

    View original reply
    @Keylime Pie:  if you love your Fiance, then it doesnt matter whether he gets you a 3 ct round brilliant or a small .3 ct chip.

    No it doesnt matter… But I can still want the 3ct all the same.  And I’d be careful with associating the word chip with a 0.3 ct… many people here do have a 0.3 and may not appreciate that.

    The topic ‘I just have to get this E-ring thing off my chest!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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