(Closed) I just lost my mom……and need some help :/

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. One suggestion that I have (which I actually saw on an episode of My Fair Wedding) is to use your mother’s color theme from her wedding in your own. That way her influence on your wedding can be seen everywhere, from the bridesmaid dresses to the table settings. Just a thought. I wish you all the best and take comfort in knowing that your mom will be with you in spirit on your wedding day. Best of luck with everything!

Post # 33
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I just lost my mom a month ago as well. My wedding is in October of this year. I seriously considered calling it off, but after some thought I decided to go on as planned. It has been hard to say the least. Honestly I don’t know how I’m going to get through my wedding day without her!

How I decided to honor my mom in the wedding is I’m going to have my sister light the unity candle along with my fiance’s mom, and I’m going to have the song Mama’s Song by Carrie Underwoiod playing during the lighting of the candle.

Post # 35
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am so very sorry for your loss. I haven’t been in your shoes, so I’m not sure how great any advice I have is, but I think you should take all the time you need. When you do plan your wedding I truly believe your mom will be beside you in sprirt the whole time.

Post # 36
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am so so sorry for your loss. She will still be there with you on the day and every moment before and after it. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling right now, but it will heal with time. I lost my grandmother (we were very close) the summer before Fiance proposed. Some people might find this weird, but my sister and I had matching dove necklaces filled with her ashes. I’m going to wear or sew it into the dress temporarily on my wedding day. I also plan to wear only her or my mom’s jewelry on the wedding day. Wearing something that my grandmother wore just somehow makes me feel even more like she’s with me… maybe something like that? No matter what you do, your mom will be with you always. Best of luck

Post # 37
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My mother passed away almost 3 years ago, and planning the wedding without her has been very tough, she was my best friend. My father is very ill and will not be able to walk with me down the aisle next year. I’m going to have an empty chair during the ceremony in honor of my mother and my parent’s wedding photo displayed at the reception.

Post # 38
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Im so sorry :-(. I lost my mom to very aggressive breast cancer that spread to her brain 2.5 years ago. My wedding is in 18 days, and I met my fiancé 3 months after she died. Its been hard from the very beggining. She was a seamstress and always planned on making my dress for me, so that’s been the toughest for me. Believe me when I say it gets better. The horrible memories associated with losing a loved one to cancer will fade, and you will be able to remember her laugh again. See her smile, and hear her voice. It’s still hard on a daily basis, and even thought time can’t heal this wound, it can make it better. Wait to plan your wedding until you feel emotionally stable enough. It’s very stressful, and not something you should take on ASAP. Our guests are releasing monarch butterflies when we have our first kiss, in memory of my mom. We’re also skipping the father/daughter dance. My parents were married for 25 years when my mom died, and it would be too emotional for both of us. Good luck, things will get better. 

Post # 39
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’m sorry for your loss. (((((((HUGS)))))))

Post # 40
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@alexandra.l.sullivan  I am so incredible sorry for your loss. I lost my father to stage 4 lung cancer in September. He went into respiratory arrest 2 days after Fiance proposed, he even asked for permission, he did get to see the engagement video before he passed but he was my best friend so it has been really hard. We put wedding plans on hold for a few months and I honestly did not know what we were going to do or when we would haev it but ultimately I knew he would want everyone to keep going on with their lives. I know it’s been really hard on my mother but she’s admitted that all of the planning has given her something to focus on and she’s gotten back to the gym because she has something to prepare for. It’s really just kept everyone busy and brought us all closer together, and when I want to fall apart, Fiance is there to comfort me.

To honor my father, I will have a bouquet charm with his picture to walk me down the aisle, and I am asking his older brother to take his place and walk with me. I am planning on taking a piece of one of his shirts or a tie to incorporate as my something blue in my dress (possibly a heart to go on the inside of my dress over my heart). And I will be walking down the aisle to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, he loved the song and we played it at his memorial service (where it rained and then 2 full double rainbows appeared) and when I was picking out my invitations and deciding on whether to use a sailboat or not, the song came on & I felt like it was his way of saying to pick a sailboat (which he loved). So when that happened I knew I would have to walk to that song, I feel that it will give me a lot of peace in that moment and know that he’s there with me.

I completely understand you taking time away from planning, it is a lot to take on even in the best of situations, but I really want you to know that you are definitely not alone in this. If you ever need to feel free to PM me if you would like. Keep your head up hun and like

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@alexandra.l.sullivan things will get better.

Post # 41
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am so sorry for your loss.   My fiance’s father passed away from stage IV throat cancer in September and we are getting married this year on September 1.  We like you, thought we had more time, however we were unable to push our date back as our fee was non-refundable.  We want to honor his father’s memory.  We are gathering all the pictures we can and creating a presentation to show at our rehearsal dinner.  My planner made the suggestion to have one of those digital photo frames that shows different pictures, so we will be using one of those as well.  We are also going to light a candle for him during the ceremony.  Those are just little touches that we felt would best honor his father.  If I think of anything else, I will let you know.  It’s hard to plan such a joyous event without someone so important.  I am so very sorry for your loss.

Post # 42
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mom in a tragic car accident less than 10 years ago and it has been so hard celebrating life’s milestones without her. I am newly engaged as of last weekend. If you look back to my recent posts, you will see the story behind my ring and how my fiance was so thoughtful to have incorporated my mom. I get very emotional when I think about her not being a part of this process with me. I plan to have a piece of her wedding dress sewn under the lining of my dress, as well as include pictures of her in our wedding slideshow. I find comfort in knowing she is always with me in spirit. 

 

Take your time to grieve. You will be in my thoughts and prayers! <3

Post # 43
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Nicoleeee18  im so very sorry for your loss blessings to you and your family

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