(Closed) I just *love* family get-togethers in the waiting phase…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@DulcetMute:  “”It’s nice to meet you too.  Interesting you said ‘hi’ first when you’re not a member of this family, but okay.”  WTF?!?!?!?

ETA: I would expected/demanded some SO BACKUP!!!

Post # 4
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

WOW. That is insane. It sounds like you were nothing but lovely and polite. Update us when you talk to your SO and tell us what he says about the whole thing!!

Post # 6
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@DulcetMute:  1) If his mother is upset, she should realize that’s not how you treat people at a dinner. She should have stood up for you. More appropriately, your SO should have said something. Not necessarily calling the woman out on it, but being like “she’s very much a part of our family events” or something. Seriously. People are rude. Your Future Mother-In-Law should have seen that.

Post # 7
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@DulcetMute: “Ugh, then part of me is twitching like, “Did we seem mismatched to her?  Did I rub her the wrong way?”  I wanted such a good friend of my SO’s mom to like me.  Oh well.  Win some, you lose some.”

It sounds like your relationship with his mom is so wonderful… chances are she will be disappointed with her friend for not seeing what she sees in you. This friend that she hasn’t seen in 20 years can’t possibly sway how much she loves you!

And it’s no one’s business to judge if you are “mismatched”. She doesn’t even know your SO, and if she thinks you don’t fit in with the family, she’s wrong, because you already have a great relationship with them. What does she know? Nothing, she hasn’t been around for 20 years!!!

Post # 8
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

she sounds like an old bitter witch. Don’t pay too much attention.

Post # 9
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

People are so rude!! I wouldn’t worry your SO mom knows you, and she will most likely be upset over her RUDE friends behavior, cant wait for updates with what SO’s mom has to say about this. I wouldn’t stress it seems as though you have a great relationship with SO’s mom 🙂 and hopefully you never see that rude woman again.

Post # 10
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ok a few possibilities:

1. she is an asshole

2. she was having a bad day of some sort, which led to her being late, the bad day coupled with embarrassment over being so late led her to lash out and also try to make you look like a rude person instead of her for being late.

3. A mix of 1 and 2

Whatever the source, this was clearly not about you. Don’t take it to heart.

Post # 11
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@DulcetMute:  Well she can go eat dirt with that horrid attitude. 

I think you are quite lovely and while not “creative” there are many things you have to do on the fly when you meet people. I admire you for not being a snot, which is what I would have been. 

Post # 12
Member
10 posts
Newbee

OMG!!!!!! Unbelievable rudeness. Has she got a daughter that she wants to set your SO up with ??LOL. 

 

Not a nice lady, but unfortunately they exist. Also, for a long time I used to think my SO’s mother had a problem with me based on things she would say, but over time I came to realise that she would just phrase things in ways I never would and that she just had a different perspective in how to speak and broach things with people. She wasn necessarily trying to be rude. So my advice would be to not take it personally and let her go her own way. And also make sure and maintain your dignity in this, considering the history the old bat has with your future Mother-In-Law, dont say anything u may regret!!update us please!x 

Post # 13
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee

Ugh, why do people have to get all up in waiting ladies’ business? I seriously don’t get it. I’ve had this happen too, I think some people just think girlfriend = open season to judge. 

She sounds like a real B, and I bet your Future Mother-In-Law was mortified. It also sounds like she isn’t very close to her bridesmaid anymore and invited her to reconnect. I would chalk it up to that. For the record I think it’s totally okay to extract yourself from a situation like that. If the options are causing a scene by calling out BS and gracefully bowing out I think the latter is the best option 90% of the time. 

Post # 14
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

She sounds like a peach!

Post # 15
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d try to separate your feelings on this from the waiting issue. She sounds like a bitch, period, and she probably would have acted the same whether you were married/engaged/waiting/whatever. And I think the dig about you not being part of the family was more meant at your SO, not you–as a member of the family, he should have been the one introducing you to her and her family.

And yeah, it would have been nice if your SO had backed you up a little more. Especially if he wanted you to stay–then he should have done something to improve the atmosphere.

Post # 16
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

What a bee-oytch!! I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Hopefully that “friend” won’t be invited to dinner often. If she is, and the behavior continues, I would talk to your SO and his mother. No one deserves to be treated like that!

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