Post # 1
i am a regular user of weddingbee but for privacy purposes ive gone undercover.
this is my issue,
my fiance is the most amazing, kind-hearted, thoughtful, funny, supportive man. but lately something seems to be off with him. it started about a week ago when i had noticed. He doesnt seem to be intersted in having conversations with me. we usually have sex about 3 times a week. and now were lucky if we get it once a week. not only that but he just seems distant. we dated for 5 years before getting engaged so i know him like the back of my hand. hes my best friend. and its not him iniating it either. and everytime i do, he turns me down or makes up an excuse. ive tried everything i possible could. i work from home so i get all his stuff ready when he comes home to shower, i cook dinner before i start my shift(b/c he gets home when im working, and i work late) ive been making sure i havnt let myself go lol. ive even started wearing lingerie to bed to see if it would help. ive tried to comfront him and ask him if everything was okay b/c he seemed distant. and if there was something wrong i would do anything to make it better. ive tried reaching out bees but nothing seems to be working. and usually i know exactly what to do when he feels likes hes in a rut. any advice? or am i just over-looking these signs?
thank you in advance
Post # 3
@unknow123: sounds to me like he is dealing with some things that are making it difficult to respond to your emotional and sexual messages. I could continue to be gentle with him but try to be direct about the changes you have noticed and that you want to help him and get back to being the couple you were.
Post # 4
I agree that you really need to talk to him. It may be depresesion or a medical problem. Maybe set aside a date night for the two of you to reconnect!
Post # 5
If I were you, I would just bring it up with him. Plain and simple. You can do it in a way that’s not accusatory. Tell him, “I feel like things have become a bit distant between us. Am I misinterpreting things? Is everything ok at work, with your family, with us? Talk to me.”
Not in those words exactly, but that idea…. (((hugs)))
Post # 6
Let him open up. Come to him calmy and kindly. Tell you you care very much about him, and you’ve noticed he’s a bit “off his game” (don’t ask questions) tell him you’re here for him and that if and when he wants to open up you’ll be ready and waiting with open arms. Kiss him and leave the room.
Post # 6
thanks bees for all the great advice!
we actually have a date night set up this evening so it will give us a good chance to talk 🙂
Post # 7
Since you two have been together for years and you would consider him your best friend, just speak up and be honest about your concerns. It sounds like things have certainly changed and he has to realize you have noticed. You have every right to better understand why he isn’t as interested lately, whether he plans to liven up again or not. Your satisfcation should be a top priority to him and I have no idea of his age, lifestyle or level of stress, but he could be experiencing erectile or arousal problems.