(Closed) I just need to get this out..

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013


Im so sorry that you are going through this! Its unfortunate that some people handle grief this way (your stepfather). Im not really sure how emotionally close you are with him, but it seems like your relationship with him might be doing more harm than good right now. I, personally, dont understand his behavior, nor do I agree with it, but Im not sure what you can do about it. I hope the best for you and your family and keep close to the ones that are there for you and treat you with respect.

Post # 4
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time right now.  It really hurts to lose a parent.  I know, I have been there.  You didn’t need all this extra stuff to.  Your stepdad is being awful and I really wish I could help. If you ever need to talk PM me any time. Hugs*

Post # 6
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I know you said that the money doesn’t mean anything to you but I would talk to a lawyer. It doesn’t matter that he magically can’t find her will. The law of most states splits the estate between the children of prior relationships and the current spouse, and does not just give everything to the spouse. If he’s treating you like this I wouldn’t want him to have anything more than he legally should if I were you. Although I do understand that may be more hassle than you are able to deal with emotionally right now. 

Post # 7
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I am so, so sorry that this is happening. *hugs*

Regarding the will, was it filed with lawyer at all? Shouldn’t they have a copy? 

Post # 9
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@dcdt212: I am so very sorry to learn of your mother’s passing. My sympathies to you and your family.

I know you said you don’t care about the money and you can’t prove anything what with your stepfather shredding things left and right. However, my Justice Meter is going berserk and I can’t help but think there must be some record of her Will on file elsewhere at a lawyer’s office (estate law) or if a notary had to sign it or something. Anything? Just a thought because that seems awfully unfair. Seems like your mother’s blessing could come in the form of savings for you and toward your child’s education or well-being.

EDIT: Just saw what you wrote above. No, I think you could very easily call a given law office to see if they could provide you with a copy of the Will. They may just charge you a small processing fee. As for a consultation, some are free and some charge a nominal fee if it goes over an hour. Ask around. You can do it! 🙂 And regardless of what your stepfather bought, it has value and well, he can be held accountable, don’t you worry. Talk to a lawyer and get a copy of the Will. They’ll help you figure it all out.

Anyhow, I hope you can remove yourself from your stepfather’s venom. Not to excuse his behavior but it sounds like he snapped in his own way due to his own grief and sadness and this side of him has come through. Remember the good times and be strong as you move forward.

Post # 11
46680 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t know about the USA but in Canada every province has a wills registry to which you can apply to find out where the will is located(which lawyer’s office).

We also have a lawyer’s referral system where you get an initial half-hour consultation for a very low fee.

I suggest you see if your state has something similar.

Post # 13
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@dcdt212:  I really hate that you’re going through this.  It really stinks.  My mom and I went through a lot of issues when my stepfather passed away a couple years ago.  His family tried every way possible to say that his will invalid for lots of reasons.  I won’t go into it, but it was hell.

I would really talk to an estate lawyer, even if it’s just a cheap one you can find and talk to for even just an hour or two.  They will really be able to help you.  If there was a will, the original should be on file with a lawyer…you’ll just have to get a copy of the original.

I know there’s different laws about having your own separate property before you marry.  Like, my stepfather owned a house before he and my mom married.  Although they were married that was considered his separate property because he owned it before he met and married my mom.  My stepdad had a will and in the will it stated that he would be giving her his home…had that not been stated in the will, then his home would have gone to his brother, instead of my mom even though they were married.  So those things can be kind of tricky.

I also know that after someone dies, a succession is supposed to be opened, and then the executor of the estate is supposed to follow what the will states he/she should do.

I’ll try to ask my mom more details about all of this.  It was a really difficult time for us, and it’s hard to deal with after losing a parent.  I hope you can find out some information from a lawyer.  I know they can be expensive, but it’ll be worth it to see if there’s anything you can do, and it’ll make you feel better once they can give you some legal advice.


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