(Closed) I just need to know if there's anyone else out there..

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

@myluverbuny:  Do you have parents the kids can stay at for a weekend? That’s what I had to do after my daughter was born. Darling Husband would go to work at night so I was alone with her then I would wake up and go to work. I didn’t have time for rest. I got to the point of giving up. There was no time for me, for us, for a shower or to eat a hot meal. My parent’s took my daughter for the weekend one weekend and honestly I felt refreshed! I felt like a bad mom at first but then realized I couldn’t be the best mom I could be the way things were going.

Post # 5
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

@myluverbuny:  Your welcome! I know its hard. You are not a bad mom, but a GREAT mom!

Post # 7
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2006

I m in the same situation..I quit my job when  my older son was 1 year old and we had another one right after. So my sons are 5 and 3..When they get older, they will give you more free time because they will play with each other and you can do whatever you want . You still need to watch them. It was harder when they were younger. Thats why my husband made me quit my job and i become a full time stay at home mom. Even now, i still get upset and i had short temper because my boys are so playful and very careless about things. I m at home with the kids mostly all day so i get frustrated most of the times too but of course i love my kids to death. Everytime i get moody, i take it out on my husband and i feel bad for him too. He works long hrs and he has a stressful job.

You are doing great as a mother and don’t feel guilty.You are a wonderful mom and  wife.Its normal to feel like that. When i looked back the times when my kids were younger, every day i felt like a zombie and I wanted to cry because i had no help at all. EVen now, we only go out once a year when we go visit my DH’s family then they babysit. May be on the wknd, let your hubby watch the kids for a few hrs, and you can go out with your friends or do watever you want. Trust me, you are not the only one out there..Everyday i still get frustrated because i m trying to teach them and somtimes they don’t pay attention and which drives me nuts. I also do cook, pack lunch for Darling Husband and clean, laundry, so many chores to do everyday.

Lets cheer to motherhood and enjoy when they are younger…I breastfed both of my kids,so every morning i wake up, i felt so weak and so restless. I still couldnt take naps because my two boys sleep at diff time..Now things are starting to get better cuz my older one just turned 5 and lil one going to turn 3 this month ..My suggestion is please be patience for a few years and you will through this..

good luck and take care.let me know if you need anything…ok..

Post # 8
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@myluverbuny:  I don’t have kids yet, but it sounds like you are a great mom who has a lot on her plate! I hope that soon your baby is sleeping through the night and then hopefully you will get a chance to have some rest as well. If I could beam myself to Canada I would babysit for you to give you a break 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It sounds like you are a great mom.  I only have 1 child (4yrs old) and I know how hard it is to work full time and be a full time mom….I would get up at 4am and work until 1pm…I got off work and took care of my little girl until the next morning when it was time to do it all over again.  My (ex) worked at a bar at night so he watched her during the day…but once I got home, the baby was all my responsibility.  I left him when she was 6 months old and just did the best I could…every day was hard.  You will make it through!  Can you guys spare any $ to pay for someone to watch them for even a couple hours a week.  Just a little ‘me’ time to recharge your batteries??  Good luck girl!  PM me if you ever need a friendly ear to vent to!

Post # 10
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@myluverbuny:  What about trading time with your FSIL?  You take all the kids for an hour or two one day and vice versa?

I know what you are feeling.  I stayed home with my daughter 24/7 and was so glad when my ex came home so that I could take a shower.  Next thing you know he is shoving the baby into the shower saying “May as well give her a bath while your in there.”  Can I just have 5 minutes alone to clean myself?!?! Uh….  I dumped his arse.

Have you thought of getting a mother’s helper for a few hours a week?  It sounds crazy but since you are working too it is probably necessary.  And so you don’t feel guilty you could schedule them to come when the kids are napping so you are not missing too much.  There are tons of college kids/grandmas around me that would love to take on a few hours to cuddle with a baby.

Post # 11
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You are absolutely not alone.  You will forever be amother first but that does not mean you will not need time for just you and your husband.

You say taht you don’t have family that is ablet to watch your kids, but do you have any friends you can reach out to that way you and your Darling Husband can take a little break and ‘reboot” as I like to call it.  Just relax and refresh yourselves if even only for a few hours?

Post # 12
Member
7385 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You are not alone.  I have no solutions because my life is overwhelming as well.  But you certainly are not alone in what you are going through!

Post # 14
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2005

I think many mothers feel like they are in a rut, especially if they are more responsible for taking care of the children then their SO is.  When I’m not at work, I’m at home taking care of my 4 month old.  My husband tries to take on as much as he can but he’s…..well the nicest way to put it is a Negative Nancy.  He gets flustered easy and I have to take over so he can relax.  Meanwhile my neck and shoulder are killing me, to the point that it’s almost worse then giving birth, and I’m typically going off 4 hours of sleep at any given time.  I love my child dearly and I love my hubby but I’m desperate for some ‘me’ time where I don’t feel myself tense up if I hear my baby crying or beginning to.

I read that you are BF’ing your child which is why you wake up early, have you thought about pumping enough to put in a fridge so that your hubby can get up and do it himself?  You can also suppliment some of it with formula, but at least it gets him active and possibly gives you some sleep.

Post # 16
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2005

@myluverbuny:  Your hubby is a heavy sleeper huh?  A nice icecube down the pants may cure him of that!   >;D

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