Post # 1
Grrr. I am sick of looking a reception halls because nothing is in my budget range. It is frustrating. Not to mention I am getting married into a family who is a lot more well off than I am. Which shouldn’t be an issue but it is starting to feel like one. I come from a family that doesnt have very much. He has had everything he wanted pretty much. Which wasn’t a problem while we were dating. Sure i sometimes felt like he was spending too much on me or I felt like we were back in the older days when our social statuses were so different and he was way out of my league but nothing as bad as how i am feeling right now. I know I am under a lot of stress which might be part of it but grr. His parents offered to pay for most of the wedding, seeing as my dad wouldn’t be able to afford much. We are also chipping in what we can, which between buying a car and finding a place to live and college bills won’t be a ton but we will still have some to chip in. But now I feel like I have to have this formal wedding with dinner and a nice place and everything.. and it is just a lot to handle. I would be okay with getting married in a church then having like an outside reception in someones backyard… seems less expensive or switching our date and doing a friday night dessert reception.. but I feel like I can’t do any of that using his parents money because it isn’t “normal” or fancy enough. It sounds obsurd but even at the mention of something like that I feel stupid for asking about it. Maybe I am alone in this. I don’t know. And of course it doesn’t help that my fiance’s family is all super close so at even the mention of the fact that I might wanna just wait and pay for the wedding ourselves so that we didnt have to use their money “wrong” i am afraid of causing too much drama because of it. I don’t know what to do about it. i feel bad because I am feeling so down and confused. I want to get on with my DIY and “fun” stuff of wedding planning but i can’t until we figure out where it is going to be held… and grr.
I just felt like ranting. Any thoughts, ideas, anything… i know i love him and i want to marry him. I just dont know what to do about the money..
also.. has anyone ever wore their deceased mothers wedding dress altered and gotten married at the same church their parents got married at? is that a bad idea??
Post # 3
this sounds like such a frustrating & stressful situation
have you talked to your Fiance about how you feel yet? would he be able to back you up?
Post # 4
Have you considered a park with a pavillion?
Post # 5
Aw, getting married in your mother’s dress at the church your parents got married sounds like an awfully sweet idead to me. That is, if the sentimentality of it is your style. Some girls would prefer that, while other would prefer something unique to them. It depends on what you want. Is it more meaningful to you for you to wear your mother’s dress and get married in the same church? If so, then I’d say go for it!
I can’t image how hard it would be to have use someone else’s money to plan a wedding. I think I would chafe under the pressure as well. Neither my family nor my fiance’s is pitching in with the wedding, so the only money we are spending is our own. We don’t have that added pressure of being irresponsible with someone else’s money, nor are we required to meet their expectations. However, we have the struggle of getting what we want and what we can afford so it isn’t without it’s cons. The hardest part of paying for the wedding ourselves has been deciding what was most important for us. We have had to sacrifice some of the things we wanted because of cost. So, there is still things you have to worry about if you did decide to pay for it yourself. In the end, you may be happier for it though.
Post # 6
I’m in a similar situation and all I have to say is: Do what makes you happy, and screw the naysayers. I’m planning the wedding that isn’t what I want and no one is happy… I hate planning it, my Fiance hates that I’m not excited, and I’m sure people are tired of hearing me complain. lol.
Worst case scenario, try to compromise. Pick a venue that’s more “his parents”, but throw a party that’s more you and your man!
Weddings are stressful. Try to find a little calm in all the crazy
Post # 7
What about a “fancier” brunch? The brunch prices are usually WAY cheaper than dinner and you would feel like it’s nice enough? I would talk to Fiance and FIL’s about your concerns; you want to be thrifty if they are so generous to pay. Maybe you can convince them that a brunch, bbq, any other idea is the new wedding trend?
Post # 8
You and your fiancee need to decide exactly what kind of wedding you want and stick to your guns. Don’t let anyone bully you into a wedding you won’t be totally happy with. Just because they’ve offered to pay, doesn’t mean they get to have the wedding of their dreams.
Post # 9
My thoughts are this: TALK TO THEM! Ask them what they were thinking for the wedding, tell them what you AND your Fiance were thinking and go from there. You will never get over this stress if you don’t actually ask them what they want! I know plenty of backyard weddings that were far from inexpensive btw, just like I’ve been to formal weddings that weren’t totally on a budget! You’re wedding is what you make it! Just talk about it go from there. Good luck!
Post # 10
Definitely talk to them about it. If you look at the weddings of “old money” types, they’re almost always have the reception in someone’s backyard, so it’s not necessarily a low class thing to do.
Tell them that you think the reception should be in their backyard because you want to celebrate the closeness of family, and it would mean so much more to you.
Post # 11
Thank You. 🙂 we are going to talk to his parents about some of it. And Him and I are going to figure out everything out together 🙂 Whats important is that at the end of this I am going to be his Mrs 🙂 <3
Thank you for all of your support. I have never met such a supportive group of women 🙂