I just need to vent and get advice!

posted 10 months ago in Engagement
Post # 16
330 posts
Helper bee

elizabethdoerr1 :  I dont think your family hates him, they probably dont trust your judgment and assume he is a bad guy. Honestly, if you want to say yes then say yes. You can make the engagement a little longer to be sure of things and let him get to know you’re family more but dont pass this up if you think this really is the one. The fact that he is helping you raise a child that isnt his is a good sign. 

Post # 17
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

elizabethdoerr1 :  Why dont you say yes but have a longer engagement? That way you can ease your fathers concerns without disappointing your boyfriend!

Post # 21
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Personally, I think you may be rushing things a little bit.  I would express to your boyfriend that you feel comfortable in the relationship, but due to your history, you don’t want to rush things, and would prefer to date for 2-3 years before getting engaged.  And then I would STILL have a long engagement.  My husband and I were together for 3 years before we got married, and while I love him more than anything, I still think we probably could have waited longer.  It’s not about how much you love him, but it’s about doing the right thing for you and your child.

Post # 22
3750 posts
Honey bee

I was engaged once before and ended it. When I got engaged again, for the second and last time, my father insisted on a 1 year engagement, which made perfect sense to me. It’s your life, do what you want, but make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons – I can’t stress that enough. When I got engaged the first time, I did it only because he wanted it and I went along with it like a lemming. Engagement wasn’t even on my radar and I definitely didn’t want to get married. I was young and stupid and it sounds like you were too. It happens. Forgive yourself and move on.

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