- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Waiting has gotten SO HARD lately, ugh. It is on my mind constantly!
in the past month…
-Two of the ladies I used to work with got engaged
-One day I came into work and they and another married coworker were all trying on each others’ engagement rings and laughing about how different their ring sizes were…I felt so left out! I wanted to have a ring to contribute to the pool of weird ring sizes!
-Two weekends ago SO and I were watching some Cosby Show and the episode where Denise throws a bridal shower for her friend came on…all I could think was I can’t wait until that’s me!
-Last weekend we were watching again and the episode where Sandra and Elvin announce their engagement…I teared up because I was so happy for them (lame, because I’ve watched almost every episode of Cosby so obviously I knew they were married), and then felt that pang of jealousy that I’m sure you all have felt…also lame, because…why am I jealous of a fictional couple??
-Last weekend we were at a local conservatory and as we were leaving there was a wedding about to start. The bride was standing in the lobby with various bridal party members and the photographer…and we had to walk right through their group to exit
Universe, why are you trying so hard to rub it in my face CONSTANTLY that I’m not engaged yet? Not to mention the dreams of being married/getting engaged I’ve been having lately.
And of course SO’s response to all these things has been fairly blasé. He’s starting to react/care a little more about wedding/marriage related things, but I know he isn’t thinking in concrete timelines yet. (The most we’ve discussed is “In the next five years, probably on the shorter end of that, when [he’s] able to afford things”.)
It’s so frustrating. I am so in love with this man and just want to be able to feel and share that happiness and excitement that only a proposal can bring. I want to be married to him and to start our life together.
He’s coming to visit me this weekend…I think I might gently broach the subject with him then and see if he is on the same page as my thoughts for a timeline (Christmas proposal this year, Summer 2013 wedding), or if we can hash out something we’re both happy with. I just can’t wait any longer, it feels like word vomit every time I’m around him, and I’ve kept it in for too long.
Thanks for listening…