Post # 1
Ok so…. Im really not sure how to feel right now! My mind is racing and I’m feeling 50 different emotions at once! I just planned my own engagement! My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years on August 2nd of this year(Next Sunday). His best friend just called him last Monday to say him and his wife are expecting again and I think my boyfriend felt a little jealous that we haven’t had a baby yet because we both would love to have one!
Well out of no where he called me after work on Tuesday and said he would be home late because he had a meeting after work, which was no big deal and I didn’t think anything of it. Then he comes home and says lets pan a beach trip for our anniversary, so the said for me to find a hotel and book it, so I did. The next day I was paying bills online and I noticed a significant difference in our savings and we had a much lower credit amount on our jewelry credit account. First I felt excited, but quickly after I felt devastated because I wanted to be surprised. He knows when I pay the bills and that I can check our savings and I know he got the ring on a whim just because the news he get from his friend.
Also I know that he got a ring because once every Friday I shred old papers we no longer need and some how the ring receipt got thrown into my shred bin. Good thing I caught it first!!!!!
Anyways I still was excited because he is the man of my dreams and I can’t imagine my life without him, and we have been talking about and planning on this day to come for many years.
Well today was just another blow in my face! We went to his niece’s bday party and his mom and sister start talking about what kind of ring I would like, and I just played it off like I had no idea my ring was already purchased. Well I guess I didn’t describe the ring he got because their faces were priceless “oh shit” faces!!!! Then they pull out their phones and pull up a picture of a ring and ask me if I liked it and I said no that’s just not me, and he knew exactly what type of ring I wanted because I have a picture of it on my fridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I feel like the biggest asshole because he hasn’t proposed yet and I already hate the ring. Please tell me in not a horrible person 🙁 I don’t want a huge rock because I’m not high maintenance at all, I just was really hoping for the style if ring we have been talking about for years.
So… I planned my engagement getaway and I already hate my ring. Please tell me I will grow to love it as much as I love him? I just can’t believe after all the planning and talking about what ring I wanted and its hanging on the fridge he still got me the wrong one!!! Ughhhh I know I sound so superficial but the day I have dreamed of for so long I am now dreading.
Post # 2
If you have the pic of the ring you want on the fridge and he didn’t get you the ring he’s pretty stupid. I don’t know how much spelling out a guy needs. I hope you will love your ring though.
As for the engagement itself, life isn’t a movie and most guys arn’t hopless romantics with a writing team to pen the perfect proposal. Don’t expect something out of character of your bf. No matter how or where, you should be thrilled with any proposal, becasue it’s the question and commitment that’s important and not the spectacle around it.
Post # 3
Be happy with what you get.
Post # 4
it sounds like he IS planning a proposal so don’t worry about you booking the hotel. I know what you mean as you’d probably like him to have done the leg work but he probably has other things planned to make it special and just wanted to make sure you’d be going somewhere you liked. Does he usually do nice romantic things off his own back?
as for the ring. Hmm. Are you sure the one they showed you was it? Having been on the bee for a while it seems posters fall in to two camps. One group say it’s a ring from a man you love and that’s what’s important. Others say you should have a ring you adore. I’m in the latter. I can’t see why he’d pick something so random if he knows very clearly what you like and has had a photo of it. That’s why I wonder if the one they showed you was a bit of a joke just to see your response.
maybe I’m clutching at straws here but yes, I do understand why you feel miffed.
Post # 5
It’s all about perspective here. I know this is all a disappointment but there are millions of women all over the world who are DYING to get engaged to a man they love, even many on this board. Men like to choose things on their own and think they know what they’re doing, ever had a man try to buy you clothing as gift? They’re so proud because they think they got it right. Who cares if he folded up a gum wrapper and made a ring? You’re getting ENGAGED!
Post # 6
it is not about the ring, it is about attitude. He knew exactly what autor wanted, but still made it other way. Sound like not an easy partner to share a life with – most of the people prefer their needs and opinions to be taken into consideration, not just thrown away.
Post # 7
Lighten up. As I said he probably chose something that in his mind is somehow similar or that he has some man based reason for thinking she’d like. You’re basically saying her Fiance is going to be trouble to be married to because he got the “wrong” ring? You don’t sound like such an easy partner yourself.
Post # 8
Aww. I understand why you feel hurt.
One thing that stood out to me in your post was the reaction of his mom and sister. I wonder why they were being so obvious about that ring. Seems weird to me, like why would they show you the ring he bought and ruin the surprise (whether you like the ring or not). Also, you would think they would want to ask you about your ring preference before he bought the ring, not after! Try not to think about it for now and have a great trip!!!
yes! “As for the engagement itself, life isn’t a movie and most guys arn’t hopless romantics with a writing team to pen the perfect proposal. Don’t expect something out of character of your bf. No matter how or where, you should be thrilled with any proposal, becasue it’s the question and commitment that’s important and not the spectacle around it.”
Post # 9
No, I am saying that we can not take from autor a right to be upset.
And please, why do you jump into conclusions? You know nothing about me and my relationship, so that was just simply silly.
Post # 10
Yes, that’s why I acknowledged that it was a dissapointment. I then tried to focus on the positive that she’s marrying the man she loves while you came on and implied that he’s going to be a difficult husband based on this one issue. Seems like you have very high standards.
How’s this: I’m so sorry OP, this guy obviously cares nothing about you and is going to make your life difficult by not thinking about your feelings for the next 50 years. Better?
Post # 11
I cant believe they showed you the ring! its good you knew beforehand because you really would have been clued in then.
Just wait and see how all this plays out. i would be disappointed about the ring as well, but he could change things up. And if he doesn’t, you can discuss switching the ring after. There are a ton of girls on here who have done that. I did, and ring shopping together afterward was a lot of fun.
Don’t let the ring ruin whatever moment may come! The proposal is almost never Pinterest perfect. Mine wasn’t a surprise either and it stung because I would have really loved it. But being engaged feels really great no matter how it happens. Even if these are not his most romantic moments or he gets a ring you hate, it is coming from a place of love from someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
Post # 12
Thanks for understanding why i was upset, but he is an amazing person to live with 🙂 his memory on the other hand lol
sometimes it blows my mind how his family goes about things!
omg seriously! you just gave me the biggest eye opener and now i feel so guilty for not thinking of it sooner that i guess in some ways the ring his family showed me does resemble the ring i want! I could live with that lol i could be happy with the ring knowing he thought it was the right one! Thank you!
Thanks for that pep talk! I needed that! and as for the pic they showed me, im almost positive thats it becuase of the expressions they gave. They are not had people to read.
thanks for making me see its the about the commitment not anything else! 🙂
Post # 13
Thanks for the advise to not let it ruin what may come! Talking to everyone on here made me feel so much better and actually a little guilty lol. I know that i cant wait to spend my life with this man so i will not let a few missplaced diamonds ruin it! 🙂
Post # 14
Aww good! Maybe he still wanted the ring to be a surprise and tried to pick something he thought was similar. Guys aren’t always the best at that, lol. I’m sure your proposal will be lovely 🙂
Post # 15
At least your getting a proposal and with a ring.plus by the sound of it in a beautiful setting on your anniversary trip.
My boss didn’t and still hasn’t got his wife an engagement ring and just said to her ” so your good at planning and budgeting, do you wanna plan our wedding for next year?” Just in the car home from work.
my proposal was ringless at home just watching telly.
you can spend yours dreaming about your perfect proposal but it never works out like it does in your head. So just let it go and be excited xxxx