(Closed) I just planned my own engagement :(

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you have the pic of the ring you want on the fridge and he didn’t get you the ring he’s pretty stupid.  I don’t know how much spelling out a guy needs.  I hope you will love your ring though.

As for the engagement itself, life isn’t a movie and most guys arn’t hopless romantics with a writing team to pen the perfect proposal.  Don’t expect something out of character of your bf.  No matter how or where, you should be thrilled with any proposal, becasue it’s the question and commitment that’s important and not the spectacle around it.

Post # 3
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Be happy with what you get.

Post # 4
Member
6240 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh no!

it sounds like he IS planning a proposal so don’t worry about you booking the hotel. I know what you mean as you’d probably like him to have done the leg work but he probably has other things planned to make it special and just wanted to make sure you’d be going somewhere you liked. Does he usually do nice romantic things off his own back?

 

as for the ring. Hmm. Are you sure the one they showed you was it?  Having been on the bee for a while it seems posters fall in to two camps. One group say it’s a ring from a man you love and that’s what’s important. Others say you should have a ring you adore. I’m in the latter. I can’t see why he’d pick something so random if he knows very clearly what you like and has had a photo of it. That’s why I wonder if the one they showed you was a bit of a joke just to see your response.

maybe I’m clutching at straws here but yes, I do understand why you feel miffed. 

Post # 5
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

It’s all about perspective here. I know this is all a disappointment but there are millions of women all over the world who are DYING to get engaged to a man they love, even many on this board. Men like to choose things on their own and think they know what they’re doing, ever had a man try to buy you clothing as gift? They’re so proud because they think they got it right.  Who cares if he folded up a gum wrapper and made a ring? You’re getting ENGAGED!

Post # 6
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
juliaGG:  it is not about the ring, it is about attitude. He knew exactly what autor wanted, but still made it other way. Sound like not an easy partner to share a life with – most of the people prefer their needs and opinions to be taken into consideration, not just thrown away. 

Post # 7
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

View original reply
zamorski:  Lighten up. As I said he probably chose something that in his mind is somehow similar or that he has some man based reason for thinking she’d like. You’re basically saying her Fiance is going to be trouble to be married to because he got the “wrong” ring? You don’t sound like  such an easy partner yourself.

Post # 8
Member
296 posts
Helper bee

Aww. I understand why you feel hurt. 

One thing that stood out to me in your post was the reaction of his mom and sister. I wonder why they were being so obvious about that ring. Seems weird to me, like why would they show you the ring he bought and ruin the surprise (whether you like the ring or not). Also, you would think they would want to ask you about your ring preference before he bought the ring, not after! Try not to think about it for now and have a great trip!!! 

View original reply
Atalanta:  yes! “As for the engagement itself, life isn’t a movie and most guys arn’t hopless romantics with a writing team to pen the perfect proposal.  Don’t expect something out of character of your bf.  No matter how or where, you should be thrilled with any proposal, becasue it’s the question and commitment that’s important and not the spectacle around it.”

Post # 9
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
juliaGG:  No, I am saying that we can not take from autor a right to be upset. 

And please, why do you jump into conclusions? You know nothing about me and my relationship, so that was just simply silly. 

Post # 10
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

View original reply
zamorski:  Yes, that’s why I acknowledged that it was a dissapointment. I then tried to focus on the positive that she’s marrying the man she loves while you came on and implied that he’s going to be a difficult husband based on this one issue. Seems like you have very high standards.

How’s this: I’m so sorry OP, this guy obviously cares nothing about you and is going to make your life difficult by not thinking about your feelings for the next 50 years. Better?

Post # 11
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

I cant believe they showed you the ring! its good you knew beforehand because you really would have been clued in then. 

Just wait and see how all this plays out. i would be disappointed about the ring as well, but he could change things up. And if he doesn’t, you can discuss switching the ring after. There are a ton of girls on here who have done that. I did, and ring shopping together afterward was a lot of fun. 

Don’t let the ring ruin whatever moment may come! The proposal is almost never Pinterest perfect. Mine wasn’t a surprise either and it stung because I would have really loved it. But being engaged feels really great no matter how it happens. Even if these are not his most romantic moments or he gets a ring you hate, it is coming from a place of love from someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with you. 

Post # 14
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

View original reply
marissgee:  Aww good! Maybe he still wanted the ring to be a surprise and tried to pick something he thought was similar. Guys aren’t always the best at that, lol. I’m sure your proposal will be lovely ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
3313 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

At least your getting a proposal and with a ring.plus by the sound of it in a beautiful setting on your anniversary trip.

My boss didn’t and still hasn’t got his wife an engagement ring and just said to her ” so your good at planning and budgeting, do you wanna plan our wedding for next year?” Just in the car home from work.

 

View original reply
marissgee:  my proposal was ringless at home just watching telly.

 

you can spend yours dreaming about your perfect proposal but it never works out like it does in your head. So just let it go and be excited xxxx

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