Post # 1
Hello lovely bees!
I thought I had made it through the wedding planning without committing any faux-pas however I did a doozy today 🙁
I invited a co-worker and her husband to our wedding. Today she told me that she can definitely come however her hubby is on call for work so she will just bring a guest if he can’t come. I had specifically invited the husband, not “and guest” and no “and guests” were invited for others. In fact we have told others they cant just bring a random guest. So I explained this to her and just felt awful about it afterwards. She seemed hurt 🙁
Side note: adding a couple more guests bumps me into using anther table which I was trying to avoid – I know, I know, dont invite people if you can’t seat them! So we WILL add another table and I have changed my mind letting her invite a different guest if her husband cant make it. I just kept thinking, what if he IS at home and available and she has to attend without him? A coworker also mentioned that she had been approached by this person, upset about it and it instantly eased any tensions when I apologised and asked her to please bring him/someone.
Did I do the right thing in retracting my earlier reply, apologizing and letting her bring someone else?
Post # 3
@SweetJester: It’s the same number of people in seats, so I guess I’m confused as to why she would be allowed to bring her husband, but not another friend if that’s your concern.
Post # 4
@SweetJester: Allowing someone to bring their SO/Spouse is NOT the same as asking to bring a random person to fill a seat. While they may be upset you did nothing wrong considering you are not granting other guests a random +1.
Post # 5
I think she was being a little too sensitive 🙂 But you are very nice to extend her the random guest, if that’s what she would like to do!
Post # 6
@SweetJester: Yes, I think you did the right thing for sure!!
It’s tough to attend a wedding and not be able to bring a guest with you. I have done this at a couple of weddings, and it is so awkward. Definitely so much better if you can bring a friend.
Post # 7
@SweetJester: I think you were fine either way. My desire to pay for and enjoy the company of my friends’ spouses is way higher than my desire to pay for and meet randos. But if you can afford the space and the plate, it’s a nice thing to offer.
Post # 8
@SweetJester: You did nothing wrong. It is rude of her to assume substitutions are acceptable. Invitations are extended to those listed on the envelope and should not be considered transferable. If you specifically listed her and her husband she was out of line to invite or assume she could invite someone in his place. I’m sorry her feelings are hurt but you did nothing wrong and she should have sucked it up and not put you in the position by asking in the first place (unless for some reason she needed an escort, say she was disabled. That is pretty much the only time someone is justified in asking for a plus one or requesting a substitute)
Post # 9
Assuming there are going to be other people from work there, I would have told her she couldn’t bring some random person to my wedding, too!
Post # 10
I actually think she was the one that was rude by both trying to make a guest substitution and by going around and voicing her displeasure to others.
Post # 12
all’s well that ends well. your coworker should chill, to her it’s just a coworker’s wedding and prbly not a reason to be really upset no matter or go up to someone else about it! how about chill. but, sounds like it all worked out so i would let this one go w/o worry as i don’t think you did anything wrong.