Post # 1
Fiance and I went to see my parents for fathers day this weekend and my half sister that I am very close to was there. Our dad flew her in as a surprise for me! I was so happy since I havent seen her in 2 years. We live 5-6 states away. The plan was a surprise bridal shower where all my BMs were invited and several of the women my mom knows and Fiance family as well. Well I have 6 BMs…3 live far away. One is my sister and she was there. Three live local to me, but still 3 hours from my parents house. One…..ONE showed up. I understand that my cousin couldn’t come and my other Bridesmaid or Best Man that also lives far away but the other two that would have to drive just as much as me backed out. They told my mom yes and then cancelled at the last minute. One I can understand since she just came back from Disney with her family and had to work a double. I understand work….but you can’t ask off? (They have known about this for over a month) Then the other cancelled at the very last minute. She eventually text me after the party that she didn’t realize it was a 3 hour drive. Really…You have known about this for over a month and you didn’t care to look up where it was? You could have came friday with the other Bridesmaid or Best Man that showed and drove back saturday afternoon after the party. I get its fathers day on sunday but that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything at all the day before or two days before when work gave you the weekend off.
I mean I still had fun with my 2 BMs that did come and my FI’s mom and grandma, and some of my moms friends. BUT….one of my mom’s friends thats showed up stayed with us friday- sunday and she was awful. I hate people that drink a lot….like get plastered and loud and not care. That was her. She kept my mom drunk pretty much the entire weekend. I haven’t seen that women since I was like 12 and I am glad. I hope I never see her again. I am very glad she is not coming to the wedding. Oh! Then she gave my sister and I gifts for my bridal shower…which is thoughtful of her…yes. But do not give me fake Tiffany’s & Co jewelry and try pass it off as real. (My bridal shower was breakfast at Tiffany’s theme) She gave my mom a “Tiffany’s” necklace and bracelet too. I knew it was fake from the moment I saw the box and then really knew after I saw the necklace and bracelet I got. Its a nice gesture but gosh don’t lie to me!! I am not a jewelry snob nor do I own any name brand fashion jewely but I can still tell the difference! I didn’t tell my mom. I didn’t want to burst her bubble since that is kinda how she is but I said thank you to the lady and gave her a hug.
Post # 3
@jesssamesssa: I am sorry to hear that you had to experience such a stressful situation during your bridal shower. How sweet to have you half-sister surprise visit you!
I totally understand that you are upset about your BMs not coming and the one cancelling on your mother last minute. That is a bit rude of them, they should had let her know earlier than that. However, I dont want to sound harsh and trust me, I would feel so upset too, but maybe they didn’t think they had to come.
Sometimes it is mentioned here on the Bee that the only responsibility of a Bridesmaid or Best Man is actually to show up in her bridesmaid dress at the day of the wedding. Sometimes, a lot of those other wedding related events (bridal shower, bachelorette etc. ) can be a bit much…
The one who could not get time off work. You are saying that “I understand work….but you can’t ask off?” and that they have known for over a month. I have to say, no sometimes people cannot ask to take time off. Especially if she just returned from holiday! So please don’t hold that against her, I am sure it wasn’t a lack of her trying….
The other bridesmaid, who didnt realise that it was a 3 hour drive. I feel you, I would think that a lack of her trying as well. However, maybe she was tired from work, maybe she didnt feel all too well to travel 6 hours at one weekend. There could be many reasons for her not showing up… I am sure she didnt mean to hurt you!
As for the “fake” Tiffany’s & Co jewelry gift of your mum’s friend, I have to say that I think it is a bit rude of you to slam her like that. It’s a gift! She probably meant to please you and make you happy. You said it was your party’s theme and she probably wanted to give you something speacial but could not afford the real thing.
It’s actually very sad that you discredit her like that! It does not matter if she behaved stupid but a gift is a gift and at least it’s thoughtful as it matched your theme. As I said, she probably wasnt able to buy the real deal but was too embarrassed about addmitting it. Hence, trying to pass it off as real Tiffany’s & Co jewelry.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
With the bridesmaids you say you understand but i dont think you fully understand. 3 hours is a very long drive and i wouldnt be mad at anyone for not being able to make it. Of course it was easy for you to do, it was your wedding and your family. Yes they could have given a bit more notice but id just let it go. They gave you notice.
As fo the friend. I actually feel its kinda tacky and rude for her to pass off something she knows as fake for the real thing. I see where you coming from with that, its like she lying to you. Im the type of girl where if its not the real deal please dont give me imitations, give me something without a name, please. Ill proudly wear the non name.
Post # 5
Yeah, you may be overreacting just a little with your bridesmaids. I would let it go. Work and travel are actually decent excuses. I’ve copped gems of excuses (“My friend’s new roommate’s dad had a heart attack so I went to the hospital with them and you’re engagement party totally slipped my mind”).
Be happy you got to see your half sister! And honestly, even if it’s fake, it’s the thought that counts and it was Breakfast at Tiffany’s themed so really, it was kinda clever.
Post # 6
Wait did your mum’s friend actually say “jessamessa do you like the tiffany bracelet I got you, it is real you know?”
As for the BM’s I think you are overreacting and expecting too much. Did you ever think that maybe they couldn’t afford the gas to get there? That they have their own lives and problems?
Post # 7
@alaha: The only Bridesmaid or Best Man Im upset about is the one that cancelled at the last minute. Quite literally since my mom told me friday when I arrived she would be coming the next day. The next morning I text her. Two hours later was the party….still not text back. 30 mins before the party my mom tells me she said she cant come…..Really. She said she wanted to spend time with her dad for fathers day….guess what…she didn’t. Since she asked off and had those days off she went on a vacation with her bf instead. Nice. yeah. And that was a 5 hour drive.
@leecy87: I get not wanting to drive 3 hours…but give someone a heads up and not wait until the last min to say oh nevermind id rather drive 5 hours and have a mini vacation…uhhu.
@j_jaye: She said “And the Tiffany’s gift if for you!” Like I said I dont care that its fake. Its just the fact that you are lying and think I am too stupid to figure it out. That part bothers me. I am greatful for the gift even though the clasp does not work. I didn’t expect any of them there since I didnt even know I had a surprise party. But when you tell my mom that you will be there and then 30 min before the party you tell her you wont be there giving no explanation. Then well after the party….like hours after….I finally get a text back from her saying she didnt realize it was a 3 hour drive. (ok, no problem…but why are you just now figuring that out) Also, why are you going to a city 5 hours from your place now with your bf when you said you wanted to spend time with your dad?? hmmm….
Post # 8
@jesssamesssa: girl I’d be pissed too! And I don’t care what anyone says about being grateful for every gift – sometimes gifts are tacky and ridiculous – such as trying to pass cheap fake jewlery off as real. This is a place you can come to vent about it!its not like you said something to her face or even complained to your mom. People need to re-lax on the miss manners sh*t we live in real life.