(Closed) I just want my ring already. (very long)

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

sounds like a tough situation.  Well i just read your post quickly but the inital feeling i got from was maybe he was pressured into giving you that ring?  I mean he said you could change it & u did, but it clearly still isnt your taste.  & I understand your point about having to do all the research & organising but from my experience and talking to other GFs a lot of guys are like that, mine is, he just says yes looks good when i ask him to make decisions about wedding stuff.  Why dont you suggest to him you could save that ring as a family piece for your future daughter or son to give to his Fiance in the future and keep it aside, or get it turned into a necklace.  Then choose some ring you like together. There is nothing woring with choosing things together.  He may just feel unable to choose.  He also may feel bad he was pressured into forcing the ring onto you, or not be able to tell that family member you dont want to use it.  Maybe if they can be told you were too concerned it was too big/special/precious to wear everyday so you will keep it as a treasured family piece to wear occasionally or such. 

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

you could have saved yourself a year of hurt feelings but just saying “i made an appointment, we are looking at rings on [insert day/date here]” – ive done this myself to be honest and got the upgrade/setting that I wanted sooner than later.  some people are do’ers (you and me) and some people are the ideas or followers people (my husband)

going forward i can only suggest if you want to marry this man he needs to listen and hear you and maybe counseling can help with that – he may be complacent because you have been together so long and he is use to you taking charge. goodluck!

Post # 5
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Since you don’t want to make the appointment, you just need to tell him what you just told all of us- that you’re starting to get your feelings hurt and want to go pick out a ring together.  Clear, direct, simple.

As much as you may think its apparent, he can’t read your mind.  It’ll probably make both of you feel better.

Post # 6
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

In this case, you are not going to have your cake and eat it too.

 

He proposed, you didn’t like the ring.  He got you the new setting you wanted and you’re not happy with that either.  Now it’s the third go around and he’s probably worn out. 

 

The way I see it, you either live with this ring and torture yourself and your partner for another year or ten years.  Or you give in on something that only seems to matter to you, and make an appointment to get a new ring.

End the drama between you and settle the issue already.

Good luck.

Post # 8
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Someone-I get it.  Really I do.  But, I’m pretty results oriented.  So if it was bugging me this much for this long, I would have to do something about it. That’s all I’m saying.

Alternatively, I would stop wearing the damn thing.  Maybe seeing that it bothers you that much will get him into gear? I would also be terribly abrupt and tell him FYI, I’m not wearing my ring anymore and do not intend to until it’s actually a ring that works for me. 

Another option, can you tell HIM (not make the appointment) that you want to do it next weekend.  It’s been long enough and no amount of communication, crying, arguing etc is getting through to him so he needs to call right now and make the appointment?

Why do you even need an appointment?!?!?!

Post # 9
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Someone:  i hear you, its him being lazy or complacent.  my husband is “we should go to/or do *&#” and then its my job to make it happen.  

our joke is when i dont want to be responsible for something i say “honey, you be the man today” and he knows that means im not taking care of that one thing. hes not a lazy mommas boy but he got use to the habit of me taking charge. 

Post # 11
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

BINGO.

Bah, I hate that. 

 

It might be manipulative, I don’t know? I’m just thinking of ways that can get you what you want.  I’m all for manipulation when all else fails.  (and, I’m half joking..)

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Damnit. I’m having a one-sided stand-off

hahahahaah!  i once tried to give hubby the silent treatment… he fell asleep. total waste of effort on my part!

The topic ‘I just want my ring already. (very long)’ is closed to new replies.

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