(Closed) I just want time with my newborn, unreasonable?

posted 4 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, I think it’s fine to ask for space. I wouldn’t end all visitations forever, but tell people you need some quiet time with just the three of you. There are lots of ways to do this – one visitor per day with a day or two in between, or visitors only on weekends, or only in the afternoon, or whatever. People are just excited, so don’t hold it against them. But it’s absolutely okay to speak up and let people know that you’re overwhelmed and need some space with your husband and daughter.

Post # 3
3697 posts
Sugar bee

“Thank you so much for all the offers of help. We would love to have you come over and visit the baby a week from Friday,” etc. – i.e. you tell them when they are welcome to come.

Post # 4
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

You need to say NO! Get your husband to play the bad guy roll. Ring up your mother and tell her not to come over. Get him to tell his family to give you some space. Make sure to remind them that you haven’t had a lot of alone home time with her yet. I bet they don’t even realise that this is the case. Ultimately just remember that they want to love your baby and give you a break but if they are hurting not helping then I’m sure they’d like to know. If you were unintentionally intruding, wouldn’t you like to be told? 


Post # 5
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You have EVERY right to decline, and tell people you need some time, and you should tell people that.  It’s not anyone’s place to decide when they will come to your home and interrupt your time with your week old baby. As KCK said, come up with a good line that makes you comfortable enough, “we really would love to see you but right now we need some time with the baby to re group, things hvae been really hectic. Maybe in a week or so etc etc..” and don’t feel bad, and if people make you feel guilty, don’t feel guilty. Stick to what you need.

Post # 6
46647 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s a perfectly reasonable request.

Just tell people that you have had too many visitors and need some time off. “I’ll let you know when the welcome sign is back on the door.”

Post # 7
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Mrslovebug:  Tell everyone YOU need to rest and need a break from the visitors. You just want to relax and bond with your daughter alone/as a family. I dealt with jaundice too, its not fun. I’m glad she’s home and doing well and hope you get your bonding time soon. Take care of yourself also!

Post # 9
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Mrslovebug:  Tell people that with all of the complications you and your husband want personal private time to bond with your new baby.  Tell you you aren’t accepting any visitors for X number of days and that you need them to respect your need to bond as a family right now.  Then don’t answer the door or the phone for a few days.

Post # 10
12 posts

You just went through a traumatic experience. Definitely tell people you need some time. But do try to relax and get some rest as well. If you are doing too much and not resting it won’t be good for you or baby. Settle in and then let everyone visit!


Post # 11
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Mrslovebug:  UGH tell everying to buzz off lol!!! I mean in a nice way. You guys just went through a rough birth and I can imagine its extremely overwhelming. Tell everyone that you love that they want to be there but you guys need a few days of downtime because its all starting to hit you and its starting to get hard to get the baby on schedule when people are constantly in and out and your just getting the hang of it yourself! I think the best thing to do is have your hubs spread the news…if the husband is the one who says guys… shes having a rough time and now and she really needs rest because everythings starting to heal and shes in pain, and we want some time with the baby…..

I read once in an article ill see if I can find the link lol its hilarious (warning…. some people take it too seriously but its meant to be written in somewhat satirical words) that everyone thinks a protective dad is like cute and endearing but a protective mother is crazy lol.

I know Im personally going to be laying the groundwork for how “visitors” are going to be the first weeks after Im home as soon as conversations start when we get pregnant lol. I have very in your face IL’s so I will be on that like white on rice, and basically if my Darling Husband goes against me he will have been warned what will happen.

like I said this article (and a lot of the site) is meant to be humorous in some of the wording though it has some really valid information lol. The main point you should take note of is “partner plays the bad cop”


Post # 12
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Mrslovebug:  You can absolutely ask for space. Don’t feel guilty about it! Visits should be running with your schedule.

Post # 13
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Exactly why I limited visitors so strictly at the hospital and even when we got home I kinda just turned the phone off and only allowed one scheduled visitor a day. It didn’t create warm and fuzzy feelings with some of my family but they all seem to have gotten over it!put your foot down…no more visitors this week! 

Post # 14
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Mrslovebug:  Completely understood you want time.  My son was born 7 weeks early. I didn’t even get to hold him until the next day and even that was for a only a few moments.  He had to stay in the NICU for 4 weeks. I had to go home without my little boy.  The first 4 weeks I never had any actual alone time since we were in the NICU.  

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