Post # 1
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
I am starting to 2nd guess everything about the wedding but the groom. I originally wanted to elope but my dad and Fiance really wanted a wedding and a large one at that so I gave in because this is just as much about Fiance as it is about me. But of course I am planning everything (I am type A so I don’t think it could be any other way anyways). I thought cupcakes would be better so we decided my aunt could make cupcakes now I want a Cake ( a big one like 4 or 5 tiers). I didn’t want anything to do with a bridal shower but his mom really wants one and I now feel I would be a failure without one ( because thats what a wedding is about…>.
On top of all this I feel like I am doing it all. Fiance was supposed to put together a list of music and then combine it with mine. He did but its still in very crude form. He was supposed to decide cake flavor… he has yet to do that. I have DIYed and worked my fingers to the bone. Had so many headaches over this because the guest list is so big and the space to fit them so small. I guess I just needed to vent but I feel like this whole structure is falling apart. I don’t seek perfection I just want it to be over. I hate this planning there is to much to do.
Post # 3
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
I’m sorry, I know what you’re going through! I could have written this post a couple months ago! I kept changing my mind, and had so much stuff to DIY without anyone’s help. It’s overwhelming, and it makes me think that professional wedding planners are CRAZY. Just focus on your Fiance. Work on the things that will actually be meaningful on your wedding day. And know that once it’s over, you will be SO HAPPY and you will be MARRIED!!!!
Post # 4
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
You’re not alone…..
You sound like I did about 4 months before our wedding. Planning a wedding is very stressful and sometimes you just want to give up. I had a few melt downs and even told my then Fiance we should go to a park to get married. Screw the guests, food, DJ, everything!!!
Things have a way of working themselves out. I’m sorry you feel overwhelmed. Procrastinating is my husbands middle name and it was like pulling teeth to get him to do the few things I asked him to do. Sit down calmly and tell him how you feel and how much you need his help. Hopefully he’ll be understanding and step up.
The WB has been a lifesaver for me and we’re all here for you.
Post # 5
Member
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@LaTortuga: Oh, sweetie! (((HUGS)))!! Wedding planning — in the midst of real life — is very stressful.
I’m sorry you’re going through all of this stress and effort and that your Fiance hasn’t really stepped up in the way that you had hoped. Do you think your Fiance really DOES want to have input into these options but just doesn’t really understand why he needs to do it NOW, when your wedding is still nine months away? I know I am Type A, and my Darling Husband is not, and he generally likes to move at his own pace, not necessarily mine. Your FI may just not understand how far in advance some decisions may need to be made. However, perhaps something such as the music list may not need to be done this soon?
Post # 6
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
Thanks ladies, believe me you are my lifesaver too. Even if Fiance calls this Bridezilla.com lol. I just wish there wasn’t so much to do! lol
Post # 7
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
If your wedding is June 2013, the good news is that you can take a day or week away from it if you want to. You deserve to take a break, so do it.
Your whole guest list won’t show up, so keep that in mind. However, I’ve heard people will show up that you didn’t expect.
Is it possible to hire a planner? Is that in your budget?
I’d take it one thing at a time because if your wedding is in June, then you have time to really organize what you’re doing so it won’t overwhelm you. But don’t think about everything. This week–music. Next week–cake. Don’t worry about anything else but the thing of the week. You can’t figure something out, put it onto another week.
Also, you might get a wedding planning website. There are some that help you schedule your tasks down to the months and weeks, like I’m suggesting. Some free, too, so it’s good.
Also, it’s hard to count on help–even paid help, or so I’ve been reading. So just accept that the burden is on you and any people that are gracious enough to help. Make sure that whoever is helping you understands instructions down to the tiniest and seemingly painstaking detail. If not, you might wind up with something you didn’t ask for.
To help yourself prepare, you might read the threads about weddings gone wrong and things brides missed. It might make you anxious, but I found that it relaxed me and taught me not to take my wedding too seriously. It reminded me that, at the end of the day, the union was the purpose, and the rest is just BS to make others happy or impressed.
Post # 8
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
@Brielle: The reason the music list needs to get done is that our MC get qoute us on pricing. We need to figure out more about how long we want certian dances like the $1 dance to be. I don’t care about the general music that is cool for later. But its so crude right now I can’t give my MC any answers.
I have asked that he do 3 things, pick out the tux for him and groomsmen, pick cake flavor (to his benefit he has been trying but he claims there are to many choices… men>.<) and put the music together. It seems since March he has done very little of it While all my DIYs are done. Invites are ready to go. Centerpieces done. Church booked. Engaged Encounter (Catholic) booked, Caterer booked (he did help with that!), MC chosen/ booked, Photographer booked, etc. etc….. Wait 4 things I askd he pick the get away car lol. but I don’t need to know what car to rent for some time now.
Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
Is the wedding in June? Cause he might be feeling he has all the time in the world. I’ve seen other brides have the problem of their FI’s and others not understanding why you need to plan in advance. I also have this problem with my Fiance, even though he’s mentioned May and June of 2013 as a wedding date.
Maybe if you have the MC or DJ call your Fiance, he might understand that he needs to move faster? sometimes they need to hear it from someone else in authority.
Post # 10
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
@honeybee1999: Perhaps he is the type that packs the morning before he leaves on a trip… Ugh. I couldn’t hand my wedding over to a planner even if it was in the budget…
And yes June 1 2013 is correct
Post # 11
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
Perhaps he trolls but I now have cake flavors! We will be tiering with Red Velvet and Lemon. Great now I’m breaking for a week from planning and going to bed!
Post # 12
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
Yeah, my Fiance is exactly like this. He’s on my case about planning ANYTHING. “Why are you doing that so soon?” etc and so on about everything. I keep telling him we can’t decide to get married in a week and then have it all done. He’s still dragging on the date, but has at least mentioned May or june of 2013. I told him that I wasn’t going past october 2013, and I tried to warn him that things are getting booked up. He’ll see when we’re looking around, scrambling.
I feel you about a wedding planner. I’m just as hands on as you are. So get your wine or tequila out and take a break. But do look at some planning websites. Some I saw let you actually put the music lists onto the site. Some let you upload the songs. It’s cool.