(Closed) I just want to be married already!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m sorry, I know what you’re going through! I could have written this post a couple months ago! I kept changing my mind, and had so much stuff to DIY without anyone’s help. It’s overwhelming, and it makes me think that professional wedding planners are CRAZY. Just focus on your Fiance. Work on the things that will actually be meaningful on your wedding day. And know that once it’s over, you will be SO HAPPY and you will be MARRIED!!!!

Post # 4
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You’re not alone…..

You sound like I did about 4 months before our wedding. Planning a wedding is very stressful and sometimes you just want to give up. I had a few melt downs and even told my then Fiance we should go to a park to get married. Screw the guests, food, DJ, everything!!!

Things have a way of working themselves out. I’m sorry you feel overwhelmed. Procrastinating is my husbands middle name and it was like pulling teeth to get him to do the few things I asked him to do. Sit down calmly and tell him how you feel and how much you need his help. Hopefully he’ll be understanding and step up.

The WB has been a lifesaver for me and we’re all here for you.

Post # 5
Member
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@LaTortuga:  Oh, sweetie! (((HUGS)))!! Wedding planning — in the midst of real life — is very stressful.

I’m sorry you’re going through all of this stress and effort and that your Fiance hasn’t really stepped up in the way that you had hoped.  Do you think your Fiance really DOES want to have input into these options but just doesn’t really understand why he needs to do it NOW, when your wedding is still nine months away? I know I am Type A, and my Darling Husband is not, and he generally likes to move at his own pace, not necessarily mine.  Your FI may just not understand how far in advance some decisions may need to be made. However, perhaps something such as the music list may not need to be done this soon?

Post # 7
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If your wedding is June 2013, the good news is that you can take a day or week away from it if you want to. You deserve to take a break, so do it.

Your whole guest list won’t show up, so keep that in mind. However, I’ve heard people will show up that you didn’t expect. 

Is it possible to hire a planner? Is that in your budget?

I’d take it one thing at a time because if your wedding is in June, then you have time to really organize what you’re doing so it won’t overwhelm you. But don’t think about everything. This week–music. Next week–cake. Don’t worry about anything else but the thing of the week. You can’t figure something out, put it onto another week.

Also, you might get a wedding planning website. There are some that help you schedule your tasks down to the months and weeks, like I’m suggesting. Some free, too, so it’s good.

 Also, it’s hard to count on help–even paid help, or so I’ve been reading. So just accept that the burden is on you and any people that are gracious enough to help. Make sure that whoever is helping  you understands instructions down to the tiniest and seemingly painstaking detail. If not, you might wind up with something you didn’t ask for. 

To help yourself prepare, you might read the threads about weddings gone wrong and things brides missed. It might make you anxious, but I found that it relaxed me and taught me not to take my wedding too seriously. It reminded me that, at the end of the day, the union was the purpose, and the rest is just BS to make others happy or impressed.

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Is the wedding in June? Cause he might be feeling he has all the time in the world. I’ve seen other brides have the problem of their FI’s and others not understanding why you need to plan in advance. I also have this problem with my Fiance, even though he’s mentioned May and June of 2013 as a wedding date.

Maybe if you have the MC or DJ call your Fiance, he might understand that he needs to move faster? sometimes they need to hear it from someone else in authority.

Post # 12
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah, my Fiance is exactly like this. He’s on my case about planning ANYTHING. “Why are you doing that so soon?” etc and so on about everything. I keep telling him we can’t decide to get married in a week and then have it all done. He’s still dragging on the date, but has at least mentioned May or june of 2013. I told him that I wasn’t going past october 2013, and I tried to warn him that things are getting booked up. He’ll see when we’re looking around, scrambling.

I feel you about a wedding planner. I’m just as hands on as you are. So get your wine or tequila out and take a break. But do look at some planning websites. Some I saw let you actually put the music lists onto the site. Some let you upload the songs. It’s cool. 

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