(Closed) 'I just want to get your wedding over with so I can focus on your sister's'

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 31
128 posts
Blushing bee

Wow oh wow. She doesn’t get to dictate your wedding. If she has a five year engagement, she can’t say anything. She’s had five yrs to set a date and get married. Do what you want and dot bother about what you can’t have at YOUR wedding. That’s just ricidulus. I was gettin angry when I was reading your post. Stick up for yourself and don’t let them decide your wedding details for you!

Post # 32
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

View original reply
ZebraPrintMe: I am SO annoyed for you!! Your sister is being the ULTIMATE bridezilla and your family are encouraging it in an awful way. I’m so sorry OP.. I actually cannot believe this stuff happens in real life! What are they all thinking???

I’m sorry but she’s had PLENTY of time to sort out her wedding. You snooze you lose. If it was some devestating scenario that had put things on hold for her i’d understand, but she wants everyone to put their lives on hold for her cosmetic surgery?? Please…

Personally I wouldn’t be pandering to that hideous behaviour and would ignore all of their ‘you can’t do this, you can’t do that’ stipulations (I’d actually be so tempted to do ALL of them just to spite them!) You can’t serve chips or wear your hair down???? what the eff?? If you do choose to abide by their ‘rules’ you’re setting yourself up for misery and they’ll think its ok to dictate everything else in your life.

Are your parents paying for the wedding? If they are and these are the conditions, i’d find another way to fund it. I know most people are against loans for weddings but in this case i’d happily put myself in debt to a bank to get away from that situation! If they’re not paying, they have no say.

You and your Fiance are adults, you don’t need to cater to that childish insanity. Put your sister in her place, she needs it BIG TIME.

Post # 33
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Reading this made me so sad!  Just because your sister is miserable person and can’t set a date means your life has to be put on hold?   Pick the colors you want, the cupcakes you want (if you even want them) and whatever dress you want. She has been engaged for 5 years and clearly getting married isn’t her priority. You and your Fiance deserve the day that you both want. Keep your plans on the hush and hopefully when your wedding day comes she will get over herself and be genuinely happy for you!  

Post # 34
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

No offense, but your sister is being a huge B about everything…. why hasnt she gotten married in five years anyway? I get it about the cosmetic surgery… but 5 years are quite a lot to save and have a wedding.

Post # 35
17 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am also so sorry to hear this, it seems like you’re genuinely in a tough position. Know that you’ll always have plenty of support here, keep your chin up and keep looking forward to your beautiful wedding <3

Post # 36
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your sister is a PITA and your parent’s create and feed the monster by putting up with this.  I mean seriously what next?  if you get to have children, or when?   Do what you and your Fiance want and I’m sure the rest of your family is NOT waiting breathlessly for her wedding.  I bet her wedding won’t even be fun to go to. 

Post # 37
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you really want to throw everyone for a spin, just tell them all it’s a surprise and you’re not sharing any details. Then put together the wedding YOU want and if you sister has a hissy fit so be it. She’s acting like a spoilt little child.

You have YOUR wedding the way YOU want it.

Post # 38
5220 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
ZebraPrintMe:  I want to preface this by saying that I haven’t read all the replies, so forgive me if this is redundant.

Is there something wromg with your sister that your family is coddling her so much? Was she very ill at one time or suffered some kind of severe trauma(you mentioned cosmetic surgery)? I just find your family’s behavior really OTT. I mean, you can’t have cupcakes because she likes them? Seriously? 

Have you thought about doing an awesome destination wedding somewhere that would be off your sister’s radar completely? Like, if she wants a ballroom wedding, maybe yo can get married on the beach? That might be different enough. 

Post # 39
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I may be a raging bitch, but the cosmetic surgery to enhance her self confidence has me scratching my head. I mean, I get it if she has body dystrophic disorder and this surgery will give her something she feels really distressed over not having… But how is changing something externally supposed to magically give her “confidence?” And when she gets old and fat and wrinkly the way everyone does – how will her surgery help her then?


I would honestly ignore her and this whole ‘sister wedding hysteria.’ She’s had five years of spotlight on it, your turn now! It isn’t your fault she hasn’t had her act together sooner.

Post # 40
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Your sister should’ve stepped up her game and got married first if she wanted the things she’s telling you that you can’t have. 

Post # 42
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I say do what you want to do. If anyone has a problem with it they can just not show up but I doub’t they’d take it that far… A wedding for ANYONE is special. You shouldn’t have to take a back seat to hers just because she decided to book plastic surgery… That is absurd. Five years is long enough to plan the wedding you want. If its not executed by then, that’s her problem. She cannot hold you hostage in your wedding planning process. That’s not fair at all. I say f them all and just focus on what YOU and your Fiance want.

Post # 43
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Thats an awful thing to say, I cant believe your mum said that to you. I’m sorry..

 I really don’t get people sometimes.

And your sis does NOT own hair-down hairstyles, or cupcakes, or any of that. Ugh how stressful! Maybe she should just get over herself!

Sad how some people prioritise an event over their relationships

Post # 44
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
ZebraPrintMe:  There really is no excuse that makes it ok for your parents (and sister) to act that way. It’s not your fault that she hasn’t gotten married yet and you shouldn’t let that influence your plans. Your Fiance is right to be upset at the way they’re treating you, and you need to stand up to them more and demand respect. People only treat you how you let them.

Post # 45
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

I agree with PPs your sister sounds like a crazy drama queen and your family isn’t helping the situation. I also agree (and it seems to be a non-issue) that you should pick a different type of dress but otherwise, I don’t see what the big deal is. Additionally, unless I missed a follow up post, it doesn’t seem like your sister has a set a date anyway? How close could it possibly be that people would remember every.single.similar detail and start comparing? Shame on your guests I they even notice and start vocalizing comparisons anyway. 

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