(Closed) I Just want to Scream!!!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well him not talking is kind of a problem, but my Darling Husband is kind of like that too…I guess I just got used to it because I love him so much.

Post # 5
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know what you mean. My Fiance is the same way. He never talks about anything and when I ask hiim questions he just stays silent. He tells me guys are different from girls. I would recommend pre marriage counseling to help him open up.

Post # 6
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I don’t think it’ll be healthy to tell him you’re “doubting” but try to talk to him telling him it’s important for you to have open conversations, you’re sepending the rest of your lives together and need to be able to talk about stuff.

Seriously ask him to open up.

Post # 7
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This sounds like a tough situation. I totally understand you wanting to take a step back. Marriage is tough and communication is everything; if you can’t have the hard conversations now, that will set you two up for more problems in the future. I think premarital counseling should be a must in this situation. I wouldn’t get married without learning to communicate first.

Post # 8
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My Fiance was kind of like that for a while and I know it can be so upsetting to try to talk about something important and feel like you’re talking to a wall. I finally told him I was sick of not getting input from him about serious things in our lives. I don’t think that he realized that he was shutting me out and opened up a lot. I think you should talk to him and just tell him that you want him to be more open to talking about serious issues. He shouldn’t call off a wedding because of that. It also concerns me that he wasn’t willing to hear you out about your friend moving in ๐Ÿ™ does he have something against her?

Post # 9
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

1)  Lots of men are not talkers, but are doers instead.  There is a book called the The 5 Love Langages.  He probably thinks he is showing you he loves you by buying you things.  This book would help both of you (especially him) understand different people need love in different ways.  Here is the link. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

2) He has called the wedding off?  You’re afraid he will call it off again?  This concerns me.  That seems major to me.

3) I wouldn’t recommend moving a woman into your home.  It is a recipe for a bad situation.  Maybe he realized this but didn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you this.  You might have accused him of having an unfair opinion of your friend.  Not saying your friend would have any negative intentions but her just being there could make for some awkward situations for him and her.  IMO you should be THRILLED he said no.  

Post # 11
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Are you upset with him because you didn’t get what you wanted in terms of your friend?  Or are you generally upset because of the way he communicates with you?

I think talking to him about your communication issues and how to work on them would be key.  Leave the wedding out of it (meaning – don’t use it as a bargaining tool) at this point.  It  may come down to needing to do so (if you see no progress and no longer want to work on it), but for now, address the root of the issue (which seems to be communication styles).

Good luck!!!

Post # 14
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Pappy8: Yeah I completely understand what you’re saying about him just telling you know. He should have at least sat down and had a conversation about it with you. I think all of the other ladies have given some good ideas on trying to get him to open up. Hopefully they will help.

Post # 15
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Pappy8: Well that’s good.  If it makes you feel better Darling Husband didn’t want to plan our wedding either.  He’s just like that.  He even said to me “I wish we could just go downton and get this overwith.”  Let me tell you, the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side.  My ex-husband had a say/opinion on EVERYTHING and it drove me crazy.  It gave me the mindset to really appreciate a husband who really doesn’t care about stuff like that.  Try to be thrilled you get to have your life/wedding EXACTLY how you want it – at his expense!

Post # 16
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I really don’t know what to say. Money is nice and all, but personally, I could not deal with a guy who was not there for me emotionally. I mean what is the point of getting married if the husband can not be supportive of the wife (and I am not talking money either)?  I understand that many men are not that great at communication but geez! I do understand that many men are not into wedding planning, heck I hate it myself. But with daily living, I need to feel like my husband has my back.

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