(Closed) I just wrote a depressing email-

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

whats their issue?

Post # 4
105 posts
Blushing bee

@Belle2Be: So sorry you are dealing with this.  I would ask  you why they (your mom or your dad) are unsure of going, but frankly, it’s none of my business.

I just hope your parents can realize that no matter what, they need to support you. 

Praying it all works out.

Post # 5
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this sort of situation.  Just be happy that YOU know better than they do!  Wink

Post # 6
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Why aren’t they coming? Or what is keeping them from knowing if they are going to make it?

Post # 8
457 posts
Helper bee

Sorry your going through it, I feel for you, my Darling Husband mother did the same thing. Though we didn’t think we even had to ask if she was coming, so when she sent back the RSVP NO, it was a shock, but also an eye opener for us and more so my Darling Husband. I don’t have any great advise, as it was hard, more so my Darling Husband, only thing I can say is move forward, and try not to let it bring you down. By the time our wedding rolled around, my Darling Husband had come to peace with it, in the end we had wished she stuck to it and really didn’t come, but all said and done, we are happy and much stronger as a couple because of it.

Try to just remember the great supportive people you have in your life, keep thinking of them, not the negative. Stay strong!

Post # 10
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Belle2Be:  “last conversation we had she told me not to say I love her, because it’s an action and I clearly don’t mean it,”

Holy guilt trip Batman! 

Sounds like your Mom is in a very sad place and honestly, while I’ve never been in your position, I know my Mom would have been none too pleased (to put it mildly) if I’d moved far away or if any of my siblings had taken her grandkids away.  And she probably would have blamed their spouse too! 

Maybe just keep talking to her and remind her that this is YOUR choice – your Fiance isn’t forcing you to make it and also reassure her that you will visit and call often and that they are welcome to visit you, too.  But defend your Fiance.  Unless your Mom has concrete reasons not to like him – you do have to let her know when/if she crosses the line.  Lovingly of course. 


Post # 11
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ah so sorry belle! πŸ™ I hope she comes around, I would have been heartbroken if my mama wasn’t at my wedding. Crossing my fingers she IS medicated (totally kidding :D) or just moving forward!

Post # 13
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m so sorry!  How frustrating!  Fiance and I are moving across the country after we get married, and I know my mom is devastated too (although I can’t imagine her ever saying anything like that).  I agree with lisa105 that you should just remind her that it’s your choice and that you have to make the decisions that are best for you and your Darling Husband.

Also, did your mom move far from her parents ever?  Mine moved VERY far away from her family when she finished college, and I’m prepared to mention that if she ever guilt trips me too much.  So you could think about if she ever did anything like that you could bring up.

Good luck with everything!  Hopefully she comes to her senses and decides to be happy for you!

Post # 15
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Belle2Be: I’m so sorry. I couldn’t even imagine…

Post # 16
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Im so sorry belle, just know we are all here for support. I hope she warms up to the idea of coming to the wedding. I think she would really regret it later if she chooses  not to go. sounds like she is just having difficulty dealing with you guys leaving her…be patient, im sure she will come around. πŸ™‚

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