I keep one pet and ex wants to take the other following break up?

posted 4 weeks ago in Pets
Post # 2
Member
306 posts
Helper bee

camelliasinensis14 :  So personally being a dog owner as well, I see both sides but ultimately do not feel like this is a fair request. The reason being that if the dogs have lived together for a long time, they have bonded. It will be hard and sad for them (I know of at least one case of this happening where one of the dogs got depressed and stopped eating) and it’s really not fair to them. 

Post # 3
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

camelliasinensis14 :  OMG, this sounds awful. The dogs were adopted/purchased together so they’ve always been around each other? I would not want to separate them! 

Post # 4
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

My wife and I have 2 dogs, one she’s had since before she met me, and one we got together. The one we got together is my baby and I love him more than anything, but I know he’d be heartbroken without his brother, so we’ve agreed that if we ever break up she gets both of the dogs. I couldn’t imagine splitting them up just because I selfishly wanted to keep one of them. It just wouldn’t be fair to the dogs, regardless of how “fair” it would be for the humans. 

Post # 5
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Also, my parents tried this when they got divorced, and my mom ended up bringing the dog she took back to my dad and I because she was depressed like pp said, and was refusing to eat. 

Post # 6
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

Oh my goodness. That’s why he must have done a 180 on the request to pay up all selling expenses for your house when you asked again. He wanted this in return. No such thing as free lunch. I’m really sorry that you are going through this. I wouldn’t separate them either but I can see his point too if you got the pets together as a joint decision.

Post # 7
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

The dogs will be in a new environment as both of you will move to new houses. That’s hard enough. You shouldn’t separate them but who keeps them will be a point of contention. He left the relationship and you should be keeping them in my opinion.

Post # 9
Member
1139 posts
Bumble bee

This would be a very unfair arrangement for the dogs. They would be terribly lonely after always having each other. 

If I were the judge, you would get both dogs, as you’re not the one who’s asinine enough to think it would be fine to separate them. 

Post # 11
Member
6605 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I can see his point… why do you get the dogs and not him?  I also see your point that they need to stay together because that’s what’s best for them.  So… have joint custody and you won’t lose your dogs forever, but netiher will he.  Granted it means you both need to be adults about this split, come up with a real plan and not act like assholes toward each other, but mature people can manage that.  It’s not your way or his if you’re willing to compromise with someone that you presumably loved once.

Post # 12
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

skunktastic :  That’s not easy if you’ve had an acrimonious split, which they did if you see the thread. If you want a clean break that’s going to be a nightmare.

Post # 13
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee

camelliasinensis14 :  this sounds like a perfect question for your LAWYER. IMO, when you fuck up and cheat, you get nothing. you don’t get to keep any the benefits earned in the loving relationship that you squandered.

as you can see, my personal opinion is quite emotional and not of much use to you, regardless of whether I’m on your side or not. get the legal perspective on it, and proceed from there. if worst comes to worst, having one dog is better than having no dog at all. dogs are resilient and will overcome the loneliness they’ll initially feel at being separated from their lifelong mate. you’ll just have to step up and show extra love and affection to your pet. 

and for christ’s sake stop negotiating with him by yourself!!!!!!!!

Post # 14
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

happiekrappie :  I’ve heard of people heading to court over dogs in divorces but not sure how it would work for unmarried couples. Technically it’s fair to say that they should both get a dog each but I do agree that since he left the relationship, he should let her keep them.

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