I keep one pet and ex wants to take the other following break up?

posted 2 months ago in Pets
Post # 16
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

I know few couples that slit their dogs. They had gotten both dogs together but they both clearly had “their dog”. Of course keeping the dogs together is the best option but I really don’t think his suggestion is asinine. I wouldn’t recommend joint custody when it comes down to pets. Hope youbfigire out a way to keep the dogs together!

Post # 18
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

Your ex may have left you but that doesn’t mean it’s ok for you to try to punish him by denying him both his pets. You should let him have one pet. Yes, it’s not a perfect solution but there rarely is one in break ups. 

Also, he was totally fair when you asked him to pay for all selling costs of your home because he left you so that you didn’t have to pay anything. Apparently that wasn’t enough as a goodwill gesture for you. 

Post # 19
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

mel76 :  Pets are like family you know. It would be painful for both of them to lose access to one pet. I honestly doubt either of them would be doing it to get back at each other. They just both want to keep their pets.

Post # 20
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I would do what was in the best interest of the pets and keep them together. If you ex has a yard and a better living situation for them I would give them to him. My pets are my children and I would miss them terribly but as their mother I want what is best for them and what’s best for them is them being together.

Post # 21
Member
6860 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Where are you going to be living? Tbh, as a foster mom I get lots of dogs split up after being together for a while – most are totally fine (it’s rare that we rehome together unless they’re like seniors). So I don’t actually think it’s *that* bad to split them up…however if they’re being split up for no reason that’s dumb. If he could still/wants to house both or you could that would be ideal. But if worse comes to worse, unless in very specific circumstances, dogs separated will be totally fine.

Post # 25
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

camelliasinensis14 :  You replied to another poster confirming you will in fact seek legal advice over this. It’s something you can resolve without getting your lawyers involved but you’d rather involve them to get both the pets. If you are so concerned about splitting them, would you give both to him to ensure they are together?

Post # 26
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

If your ex and you both are getting homes suitable for pets, then I think the only way for both of you to be happy is to have a dog each. It won’t be easy but after some time your dogs should be ok. If they are not, you can communicate with him to work out another solution. 

The best thing would be joint custody but I don’t know if either of you want to have contact indefinitely.

Post # 27
Member
1708 posts
Bumble bee

You said yourself he adores the dogs – it is not fair for you to keep both. As a very long time dog person, I can tell you that unless they are extremely bonded seniors, you should each keep one dog and I highly suggest that each of you get a second dog. Dogs are incredibly resilient, and while they do grieve, they will adapt to and love a well matched new buddy. I would go to to rescues who foster their dogs – the foster parent can tell you a lot about their habits and personalities. All of the rescues I’ve dealt with will allow a trial period to make sure the new dog is a good fit.

 

Post # 28
Member
892 posts
Busy bee

camelliasinensis14 :  Pretend you’re divorcing. Would it be possible to have a joint custody arrangement? You could have the dogs for 2 weeks, and he can have them the next two. This way the dogs still have you both, and vet bills and other expenses can be divided up; you would be each other’s pet sitters, and most importantly, the dogs have each other. 

Post # 29
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Who’s lifestyle truly is the best for the dogs? Who has the financial ability to take care of then? Who has the better home for them? Who has more time to give? That’s how I would evaluate it. 

Post # 30
Member
10881 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

camelliasinensis14 :  

“Fair” to the humans is a non starter.  All that matters is best interest of the innocent pets who have no voice.

If your ex truly gives a rat’s ass about the dogs, he will put aside what he wants and consider what will make them the happiest.

I have no use for jackass humans who pretend to love and care about their pets while putting their own selfish wants first.

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