I keep one pet and ex wants to take the other following break up?

posted 2 months ago in Pets
Post # 346
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

camelliasinensis14 :  Maybe move into leased or rented accommodation for now instead of rushing the purchase? If he’s serious about sharing custody, then permanent or temporary will not matter. 

Post # 348
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

camelliasinensis14 :  Presumably the dogs will have to go to your ex for that duration if you have to use the fall back plan? Or will they go with you to your friend’s?

Post # 350
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

camelliasinensis14 : Suggest you get something in writing before you do this. Either a joint custody confirmation or transfer of ownership of one dog.

Post # 352
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

camelliasinensis14 :  I’ve been lurking this thread for a while… the best thing you can do for the dogs is give them a stable home. Shared custody will not work. They are not humans, they will not understand. I know it’s hard, but if you really love them and want what’s best for them you will say good bye and adopt a shelter dog for yourself. Your desire for shared custody is selfish and not putting their best interests at heart. I’m sorry if I’m being harsh but it’s true.

Post # 353
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

chitownyogini :  That could work if he lets her have both the dogs, which on moral grounds he should since he left her. He has the upper hand in the negotiations though because the papers show him to be the legal owner. I am actually surprised that he is trying to negotiate at all since he owns the dogs. Maybe I am being cynical but it might have something to do with ensuring a smooth house sale.

Post # 354
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

jasminek :  OK so her ex cheated and dumped her for his side piece, but that does not have to mean that he is 100% bad in every situation. Nobody is. If he wanted to take those dogs with zero concern for what OP wanted, he would have done so by now. They are his dogs really. His willingness to negotitate shows that he is taking her wishes into consideration. He may be against giving both dogs up but he has given her the option to take one dog or (somewhat reluctantly) try shared custody.

Post # 355
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

You seem to be rushing a new home purchase because of the dogs issue and you will be entangled over the custody issue for longer with your ex if you don’t find yourself a house soon?

I don’t know how you will move on in life like this. Maybe it will be different once you sell your home, I don’t know. You’ve had a lot to go through and just wondered if you’ve considered some counseling for yourself? You seem hung up on your ex from some of your previous posts and emotionally obviously not doing very well. 

Post # 357
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

camelliasinensis14 :  I urge you to reconsider joint custody. Splitting your dogs is more reasonable because they would have a routine and be in familiar surroundings everyday. Joint custody works for children, not animals. 

Post # 358
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

 slivergreen90 :  Not just that, but she should not get a new dog if she keeps one. I earlier thought it would be good for the dog that she keeps to have company, but actually if you think about it, she will be starting again in many ways, like dating again, new house, her own new routine. Not the time to bring a new pet into your life.

Post # 359
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

also- unpopular opinion especially here, but you don’t HAVE to get a dog from a shelter. I know, I know I’ve heard it all, but you CAN go through a breeder if you want to. Just thought I’d throw that out there. But I also agree, maybe wait until the dust settles and you’re situated.

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