I keep one pet and ex wants to take the other following break up?

posted 2 months ago in Pets
Post # 376
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

camelliasinensis14 :  When is the “trial period” going to start? Wouldn’t you think the sooner the better? 

Post # 378
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

camelliasinensis14 :  Did he not tell you that while not having one dog each will be painful for you both, he still thinks the best option is to split them because it works for both of you? Why do you think he will change his mind once you do the trial?

Post # 380
Member
262 posts
Helper bee

You should do what feels right to you but I agree with the post about this on the previous page. There is no way at all that his new girlfriend will not have a problem with this arrangement.

Post # 381
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee

franklymydearidont :  

I am almost certain that this ex-friend of yours who your ex-boyfriend cheated on you with is going to be annoyed. Because let’s face it, it’s a connection to you. It’s you seeing him (and/or her) every 2 weeks at the drop-off/pick-up. It’s them having to plan regarding the dogs with you and around your/their schedule together.

And if someone wants to move (like Erica is considering), it’s an extra dose of headache, heartache, and annoyance. Essentially these dogs will be tethering you and your ex-boyfriend together, and I think you’re a bit naive if you don’t think that your ex-friend is going to absolutely hate that. She took away your man, she’s not going to want him to be connected to you through the dogs.

This. You are potentially taking on years of headache and stress.

Post # 382
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

 

franklymydearidont :  “She took away your man, “

Why do people phrase sentences such that the other woman gets the blame like the boyfriend was some helpless person who was taken away?

 

camelliasinensis14 :  You are correct that you never know unless you give it a shot and I hope it goes ok for you and your dogs.

Post # 383
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

aquamarine22 :  “Do you trust him to return those dogs to you after his turn? You trusted him once and got another woman into your relationship to experiment and he broke your trust in him in the worst way imaginable. Did you get him to agree in writing in a text message? At least have it in writing somewhere. “

This is so true and I hope he does not let her down yet again.

Post # 384
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

kayaa :  I’m speaking to the character of OP’s friend in this post, not the ex-boyfriend. That doesn’t mean that I think that the ex-boyfriend is blameless in the least. Of course, both the ex-friend and the ex-boyfriend are BOTH to blame for the cheating and the fallout. I don’t think that the ex-friend is more to blame at all. The ex-boyfriend betrayed OP’s trust and stole her ex-friend just as much as the ex-friend did. But this is also not the point of my post.

Speaking to the character of this woman, which I was, this is an ex-friend who thinks nothing of cheating with their friend’s boyfriend and developing a relationship out of that. I don’t see that ex-friend taking kindly to sharing the dogs.

Likewise, you might say that this is an ex-boyfriend who thinks nothing of cheating with his girlfriend’s friend and developing a relationship out of that and I would of course 100% agree, but right now the boyfriend did say he wants to try sharing custody. That’s why in that post I was just referencing the ex-friend because I think that despite whatever the boyfriend says to appease OP, the friend will ultimately not take kindly to sharing the pets over time. OP doesn’t seem to be considering that in all likelihood shared custody will place a burden on her ex-friend too and I can’t see the ex-friend being supportive of this after all that has transpired.

Post # 385
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

franklymydearidont :  She told the guy that she was looking forward to having the dogs according to OP. I bet she will eventually tell her boyfriend that they should keep both dogs because she love having them and hates sharing custody. That way the guy will be happy that she cares about the dogs and she can cut OP out.

Post # 386
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

jasminek :  This is exactly my point if you read my first post on this thread.

Post # 387
Member
283 posts
Helper bee

jasminek :  Yes, she’ll be killing two birds with one stone. She can show she cares about the dogs and at the same time, she can kick OP out of her boyfriend’s life altogether.

Very much a possibility.

Post # 389
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

camelliasinensis14 :  Best of luck! I haven’t read all the pages, did you post a picture of the fur babies?

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