I keep one pet and ex wants to take the other following break up?

posted 2 months ago in Pets
Post # 406
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

the fact that you keep lingering on the fact that SHE hasn’t apologized and SHE could have gone after any single man… YOUR EX IS THE ONE TO BLAME. Obviously she’s not innocent, but SHE wasn’t in the relationship. THIS is why joint custody isn’t a great idea. You know when after a breakup, you know you’re going somewhere where your ex will be and you try to look your best to rub it in their face? Well that’s what your putting yourself in a position to do every month. That’s ill advised but whatever- hope it works out. Congrats on the new place, though with this arrangement you’ll still be living in the past.

Post # 407
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

keysha : I think she knows he is more wrong than ex friend. She literally said in her first sentence ” I know my ex is to blame more because he was the one in a relationship,”.

But you are right that she will never move on with their presence in her life.

Post # 408
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

What good will an apology do? It won’t be sincere and you know it. She is not sorry unfortunately and you have to accept it and let go of the anger that you are directing at her. You are only harming yourself.

Post # 410
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

camelliasinensis14 :  She’ll get hers. Don’t worry about that. You need to worry about yourself and mental health right now.

Post # 411
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

I actually disagree with the approach of moving forward hoping karma will get others who have wronged you. You just need to accept that it’s over and that not everyone ends up paying for his or her wrongdoings in life. I strongly suggest counseling because you seem unable to move past the two of them getting together without much remorse, especially since you will keep seeing them thanks to joint custody of your dogs. 

Post # 412
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

lavender9 :  exactly why I said not to worry about that and to worry about herself…

Post # 413
Member
10859 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

lavender9 :  

ITA.  Karma is not a personal hitman.

Post # 414
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

Did you begin joint custody? How is it going?

 

Read that thread (seems to have gone though) about the difficult dog with no training and wondered what happened with your dogs. 

 

Post # 416
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

tobeeeornottobeee :  There’s someone who is either recently married or got engaged complaining about her partner’s dog that he got with his ex and how much she hates the dog.

Post # 417
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

How are you doing OP? 

Post # 418
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

That sounds like a very difficult situation, i wouldn’t know what to do either.

Personally, i would absolutely not do joint custody for them because that means you would have to keep in contact with him and that would make it difficult to start over and move on with your life after a break up.  I didn’t see the OP about your break up so i don’t know what the details are, but still, i feel like even with a mutual break up it would be difficult to maintain contact.

Honestly, i would think that although it would probably be very tough on the dogs to be away from one another, they will probably be confused and sad because not only would they lose eachother, they would also be losing one of you, i would agree that you each should get one of them.  

However, i will tell you that my fiance’s ex lived in the house, they had a dog, “Cookie” who i’m sure everyone has seen my post about and hates me for, but that’s besides the point – and then they got puppy together.  When they broke up and she moved out, she took the puppy, and my fiance kept Cookie.  They did not want to maintain contact.  My fiance was very upset about losing the puppy, but she threatened to take legal action so he figured he would settle on one pet each and that was that.

Cookie tolerated the puppy, but they were not best friends by any means.  But after the ex and the puppy left, Cookie stopped eating and became absolutely terrified of thunder.  

I’m sure with your two dogs, if they are very bonded, it is going to be a big adjustment for them to be apart.  if so, would you consider getting a second dog if you did keep one of your current dogs?

Post # 420
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

kaitlyn8298 :  If you see her recent updates, they’ve already decided to do joint custody.

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