(Closed) I kind of dislike my wedding gown//lost wedding stuff

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

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tyene :  you actually said you ‘would appreciate ANY words of support’ except that isn’t true – you actually want to dictate how people offer there support which is wrong.

Many many people use my perspective when something goes wrong – it makes one a more rounded and nicer person to count one’s blessings rather than to dwell on negative things that may have happened in one’s life.

Don’t ask for support if you don’t actually want it!

Post # 18
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412 posts
Helper bee

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garnobella :  why would your mum say nobody had died when in fact over 102 people HAD actually died??  I don’t understand why your mum being a jerk invalidates the support people are showing the OP?

Post # 20
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

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tyene :  Nobody is disputing that it is sad that you lost/had your bag stolen.  They are just trying to make you feel better because you are sad.  They are doing this by pointing out that things could be worse.  Which they could! 

You need to move on and look forward.

Post # 21
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

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tyene :  I’m not wrong at all – you are.

Seriously you should feel better by realising that things actually could be worse.  You should put yourself in other people’s shoes rather than wallowing in your own misfortune.

I had a phone stolen once (my bag was physically snatched from me) and it contained photos of my kids which weren’t stored anywhere else. I was gutted to lose those memories for a few days but I got over it by understanding that it could have been worse.  I was only shaken not injured by the incident and there are many more memories to make and keep!

You say you have moved to be with your Fiance, are healthy and have a new wedding dress so please move on and enjoy your wedding!

Post # 23
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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tyene :  you poor thing, I really feel so bad for you and my heart completely goes out to you. I also share your sentiment about being told “at least nothing worse happened or it could’ve been worse” is the last thing you want to hear as it serves to invalidate your feelings of loss like you are not right to feel it and should focus on some bigger thing that didn’t happen when there was something bad that Did happen and you justifiably feel sad! I received a lot of those comments when a couple of things upset me about my wedding afterwards and I needed to go through the upset and anger and not have it brushed away that it could’ve been worse.

Some of the items, those that really are the loss of objects that carried so much feelings will stay with you for some time I believe – it won’t be the Same but I have found over time when I lost some thing that was so important to me I couldn’t forget it it did help me to acquire the same thing again, sometimes I will forget the replacement is something I lost it and it will appear as if the original item. In inherited jewellery it would probably mean to have it custom made from any photo or memory. But I understand if it is expensive you might not be able to for a long time or with a cross it’s generally too generic to feel the same towards a replacement as the cross you know your relative bore before you.

It’s so hard that you lost so many items all at once and especially your carefully planned out wedding ensemble. I would be in absolute shock, is there something you can do about your new wedding dress to make it feel more special?

 

 

 

Post # 24
Member
5050 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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minimgonk :  people should look after their valuables but people make mistakes in stressful situations. People stealing stuff that doesn’t belong to them is worse. It wasn’t just an iPod it was a case with wedding stuff…..sentimental things! Your statement to OP was uncalled for and very unsupportive to a bee in distress.

Sorry OP I would feel very sad too and im sorry some bees are being very mean spirited and unsympathetic to something they would be crying about if it happened to them.

Post # 25
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

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cmsgirl :  it wasn’t unsupportive it was trying to point out that you cannot dwell in the past.

I know she was sad and had every reason to be but life goes on.  I genuinely don’t understand why people don’t focus on what they have instead of what they haven’t.  Of course OP is going to be sad and grieve the loss of her jewellery and it is a terrible thing to happen but if she carries on grieving and feeling sad it will impact on her wedding day.

 

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tyene :  what exactly were you expecting in terms of support?  That is a genuine question – I seriously don’t know of any other way in life than picking yourself up after being knocked down and moving on.  Are you struggling with the big move you made – perhaps this is affecting your thoughts?

Post # 26
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

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cmsgirl :  oh and don’t understand your comment about an iPod – I said I lost a phone with irreplaceable photos of my children on it!  I’m not going to play ‘Top trumps’ but to me that’s up there with sentimental jewellery!!

Post # 27
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

It is unfathomable to me that someone would steal a wedding dress. Who would do that??

 

I’m sorry for your loss, OP.

Post # 30
Member
2156 posts
Buzzing bee

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tyene :  sorry you lost your bag, but I really don’t understand how this happens. You’re only allowed one carry on, and you had the dog…even if you were picking up checked bags (which you can have a maximum of 2?) it’s not like there are that many bags to keep track of. I just don’t get how you lost it. Considering it had EVERYTHING inside it, it seems like that would be the bag that you’ve superglued yourself to, instead of worrying about any others. If I had so many precious items in one bag, it would be slung across me and never put down. 

Also, why was your engagement ring in the bag? This was totally preventable by you know…wearing your ring. As well as any other precious jewelry, but your engagement ring in particular. 

You SHOULD be thankful you didn’t lose your dog, because that does actually seem like a real possibility if you were able to lose the bag with everything in it. I would think you’d have been as attached to that bag as you were your dog, so the two are pretty on par as far as gratefulness goes. 

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