(Closed) I kind of dislike my wedding gown//lost wedding stuff

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 61
Member
4400 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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garnobella :  +1.

i can’t stand when someone attempts to invalidate very valid feelings by offering a ridiculous alternative that didn’t happen. It seems very rude, flippant and dismissive. Those kind of comments do nothing in the way of helping, they end up sounding uncaring.

OP, you have every right to be upset. I hope things begin to look up for you. I wish you all the best on your wedding day.

Post # 62
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee

OP ignore the joyful beings who feel the need to push their ‘holier than thou’ opinions on you. 

I get not wearing your ring – my fingers swell from time to time and it is likely to happen on a flight. Some people have obviously never in been in high stress, high tension, and high emotion situations where you can’t think straight, and can’t keep track of your own ten fingers let alone whatever else you have to organise. If they had, they wouldn’t be making such insane comments. 

Are you feeling any better about your new dress? When do you get to see your full new look? 

Post # 63
Member
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I do get why you’re upset but at the end of the day it IS the dog and your Fiance you should be grateful for and not jumping down poster’s throats.

I lost literally all my posessions and my house in a natural disaster. All that survived was me, my husband and our animals. 

Stuff can be replaced, time to let it go

Post # 64
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee

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MrsKing212 :  Oh man, that sucks 🙁 But at the time, I’m sure you didn’t just dust your hands together and say “Oh well”. I feel like people are missing that the OP isn’t holding on to something that happened a year ago. She’s just lost some sentimental things, and has a lot going on at the moment – a move to another country and a marriage are two huge, stressful events. The first post says clearly that she is happy to have your fiancé and she’s grateful for the good in her life, but I think we’re all allowed to be sad when we lose something precious. Sometimes it helps to vent, and the OP has no friends and family, just her fiancé. That’s a really happy, amazing thing, but it is also lonely and hard. Been there done that, done the natural disaster, done the death of family members, the tearing apart of the family, the abusive brother, etc etc. I know that once you pick yourself back up they’re all just things, but at the time it is disappointing and frustrating and having strangers being snarky online really doesn’t help. 

Anyway, I hope you have managed to rebuild your material life (that sounds rude but I swear I just don’t know how else to word it!) without too much fuss. When we move to our permanent home I plan on buying a big water-and-fire-proof safe to store my most precious items that could never be replaced. 

Post # 65
Member
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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garnobella :  No I didnt just ‘dust my hands together’ but when I woke up in hospital and learnt my family was safe that was literally all that mattered.

Sure there are moments when you miss certain things, especialy tokens of our honeymoon etc, but every day for months after that people would say things like “at least you and Dh are alive, that’s all that matters”. And I wasnt rude to them; sure they didn’t get the full picture of losing everything but I wasn’t just like “waaaah my things”.

They were right and I never would’ve been so rude to anyone offering condolences as OP was here. It sucks losing personal things, but I think it’s time for OP to move on.

Post # 66
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee

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MrsKing212 :  Jeez were you okay? Your situation is different in that you WERE faced with a very scary “what if”. If the plane had crashed I’m sure she wouldn’t be on here talking about her possessions, but just losing things sucks. FWIW I wasn’t attacking you in my previous post, it’s all said with kindness and love because I know how it feels for life to fall apart and I’m VERY sympathetic to anyone going through hard transitions or events. I know tone is hard to convey online. 

A PP called her a piece of work, entitled, and said she should have been more careful. That IS rude, unsupportive, and unnecessary. 

Anyway, I’m not here to argue, I just think sometimes the tough-love approach of “pick yourself up and go again” isn’t the answer. Sometimes we just need to whinge and wallow for a minute before we move on. 🙂 

Post # 67
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m so, so sorry your bag went missing! I’ve never immigrated (or even traveled internationally by airplane), but I have moved many times, and some items were lost/possibly stolen by movers with every move. Moving is such a stressful and chaotic time where anything and everything can go wrong, especially when you’re doing it alone. 

This dress is really well documented in photos and the materials look easy enough to buy at a fabric store. Would it be possible to get a replica made of your dress from a reputable seamstress in the USA? It won’t be the same because your friend didn’t make it, but at least it will have the same look. 

I say this because my mother’s wedding set, an old-fashioned cluster ring with a very distinctive design, was stolen when she left the ring at home thinking it would be safer than on vacation to a large U.S. city. Our house was robbed when we were away and we lost our TV, Dad’s tools, and all of Mom’s jewelry (I was a child so I didn’t have anything of value). Mom said it was easy to forget what had happened because the new ring looked exactly like the old one. 

Your mileage may vary, of course! 

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