(Closed) I kind of hate my fiancee when he drinks.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have been in this same situation with other family members and so hubby and I decided that we wouldn’t serve alcohol at our wedding. If you honestly can not stand to be around your guy when he drinks then don’t ruin your wedding by ALLOWING it to happen. You will end up regretting it, resenting him, and it is a special day / moment and it shouldn’t be soured by the grooms rude behavior when drunk.

Espeically if you’re not drinking, why would you want o sit around sober and lose your temper at all your stupid-drunk acting guests. ITS YOUR DAY!

Post # 33
Member
3354 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Chrysoberyl:  thank you for saving me the trouble LOL

Post # 34
Member
1268 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@sienna76:   Glad you brought that up.  I think the entire issue needs to be thought through to include the rest of her life- not just wedding day/night

Post # 35
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

Eh, I’m not too big of a fan of my SO when he drinks, either. He isn’t really an asshole, just kind of unreasonable, I guess?

The best remedy for this is start living a lifestyle that doesn’t include drinking. That’s what we did. Not he barely drinks and I like it that way!

Post # 36
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You could approach him with something like, “Our wedding day is already going to be a blur; I don’t think we should really drink much because it’ll be hard to remember as it is!” — which is true 🙂

Post # 37
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@bretonvirgniia:  I have been with my Fiance for over 3 years now and he’s been super drunk less than 5 times in that time..and each of those 5 times I’ve wanted to dump him. He has never been abusive towards me..infact when he’s drunk he is ALL OVER ME telling me how much he loves me but he is SO obnoxious in other ways… 
We have been wasted together, just the two of us, and that is SO MUCH FUN. However, if I’m taking it easy (drinking but not getting super drunk) and he is getting wasted with his friends….OMG. Like a totally different annoying person. I can barely stand to be around him.

The most recent was his birthday a week ago… He was definitely acting a fool. It was his first time taking tequila shots around me and I found out that Fiance + Tequila DO NOT MIX.

Anyway, it’s really like a 1-2 times a year thing for him so I can deal with it. We’re all obnoxious sometimes. I could not handle it if it was 1-2/month…No way. He’d have to stop or I’d walk.

As far as the wedding bar goes– that’s really difficult. My fiance knows getting wasted at our wedding is not even remotely an option. He could certainly get a nice strong buzz but if he gets wasted I will kill him. I can’t imagine what I would do if my fiance refused to not drink and wanted to get drunk at our wedding.

Post # 38
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow, I can really relate to this post.  My hubby becomes a total ass sometimes when he drinks.  I am also the daughter (and grand daughter) of an alcoholic.  I think that makes me especially sensitive to alchy behavior and bad behavior.  it doesn’t happen often, but when he has a bad drinking mood he says TERRIBLE things that make me consider ending things.  His main rants are about not getting enough sex…and when he’s being an ass I don’t want to have sex, so it just makes things worse. I’d say try to nip your issue in the bud before marriage – taping him seems like a good idea…good luck!  I don’t have much advice to offer as I’m wrestling with a similar issue so I’ll just send you good wishes and the hope that things work out for you guys.

Post # 39
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

Take a video next time he is inebriated and show him once he has sobered up. 

I get midly irritated when my SO has had too much to drink. A couple of years ago, he pissed a cab driver off by barraging him with questions about where he is from, what he does etc. I apologised to the driver on his behalf. 

SO gets really happy and talks really loudly when he has had a drop too much to drink but he never ever picks a fight with me. He is still as loving and affectionate so I don’t know if your SO’s behavior is a red flag or not; he is normally sweet and loving to you.

I had an ex who punched someone in the face at a bar. He gets so aggressive when he drinks. One of the reasons I left him. Alcohol can bring out the worst in people. Sometimes it shows you their true colors. 

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