(Closed) I kind of messed up…..what do I do?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What do I do?
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2287 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    Telling them will just make them mad, and they’ll still have to wear them. Honestly I’d just play dumb or blame the salon. Fessing up won’t make either of you happy or change anything.

    ETA In light of what’s happened maybe you could let them pick their own hair, make up, accessories, and shoes. The dresses are so similar that I don’t think they’ll really notice.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would come clean now.  Especialy if they’re paying for the dress they deserve to know what they actually purchased.  Also, I’d hate for them to attend the bridal store alone on pickup and ream out some salesperson who doesn’t deserve it for messing up their order…

    Post # 5
    Member
    9074 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    So, let me get this straight. You told them to try on dress style A, but when you ordered it, you ordered dress style B and now you don’t want to tell them.

    Thaaaaat’s pretty shitty.

    Why would you want to continue to lie to your friends and family? That’s worse than the offense, if you ask me. You can use it as a marriage lesson: If something like this happens with your husband, are you going to lie (or refrain from telling him) too?

    Tell them and offer to pay for any alterations if there are any.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2287 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    Just for future posters here are the dresses.

    Style 165 (original)

     

    Style 193 (what was ordered)

    Post # 8
    Member
    9552 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Fess up. Honestly, if they’re so similar, why did you switch inthe first place? And why not tell them as soon as you decided to switch instead of waiting until they’re ordering? I don’t get it. But at this point all you can do is come clean ASAP so they don’t have a big shock right before the wedding.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2254 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Just tell them and get it over with. If the dresses are the same price, they might be miffed but may get over it. The longer you wait, the more things will fester. Just be upfront with them for the rest of the wedding. No one likes that many surprises.

    Post # 11
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I like the first dress.

    I get that you got sick of them not liking stuff, but how disrespectful of you that you let them spend money on something they didn’t even get to try on. Had it been me, then I would be asking you to compensate me for YOUR dress and find someone else to wear it.

    And I’d have to think hard about whether or not you’d be a friend I’d want to keep.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9074 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @angiemk47:  “Hey guys (or whatever you call them), I ordered a different dress than what we had originally looked at because I liked it better. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I’m just letting you know so no one is surprised [when you go to pick up their dresses] (if they are). If it needs to be altered, let me know and I’ll take care of it.”

    I’m a big fan of brides getting what they want on their wedding day, but I disagree with the statement of “I guess part of me feels like it technically doesnt matter because its my wedding and I can choose what I want.” While you’re right, you don’t “get what you want” by spontaneously going, “I don’t want this anymore, but I’m going to go ahead and change it for something else despite other people paying for it/having discussed another style/what have you.” It’s very bridezilla-y in my opinion and disrespects the people you’ve asked to be in your bridal party.

    I’m not trying to make you feel bad. First step towards fixing a problem is admitting you have one and I commend you for that. Now you just need to make it right with the people it directly effects.

    Post # 13
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Even if they are similar, it would be incredibly rude of you to make them purchase a dress they have never seen nor agreed to buy. You need to tell them ASAP. I know I would be extremely  offended if I had tried on and agreed to purchase a dress and then the bride essentially went behind my back and ordered something different without my knowledge.

    Post # 15
    Hostess
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @AllieLaLa:  Agreed. Tell them ASAP. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    7760 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You should have told them, but the best course is to tell them now. In my opinion the dresses are very similar (and I like the 2nd better) and they’ve got no real reason to complain. Because they’re so similar, I disagree with PPs who say you’ve done something really bad.

    This is why I think brides should pay for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. If your BMs do complain, an option is to pay for the dresses yourself, at least partly.

    The topic ‘I kind of messed up…..what do I do?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors