(Closed) I KNEW it – Family Drama to the Extreme!!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 61
Member
5052 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
bluecutie00 :  

Dude. Just, no.

You’re not adding to the drama? Seriously? You cut her family from your and your fiances life and you seriously can’t see that as adding to her pain?

You are forcing her to choose. If she doesn’t go to the wedding, her son suffers. If she does go to the wedding, her daughter suffers.

Come on now.

Post # 62
Member
5052 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

You KNOW that she ghosted you because she found out that you blocked her son and daughter.

Yet, somehow, this is still some major extreme unsolvable family drama.

You hurt her, you need to deal with the consequences that YOU caused.

Post # 63
Member
4454 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
bluecutie00 :  Sigh. Ok, step back from yourself for one second.

Forget the trip. Forget the money.

Look at this from a purely relatiponship point of view, because in 5 years or 10 years $1200 isn’t going to seem like a lot when it’s coming at the expense of a relationship. Yeah, it was not cool to ghost you. You win there. But really, so what? Ok, it’s money, and stress, but do you not see the stress this situation causes her? Your stress is temporary. Hers is now an ongoing thing.

You cut out your SIL. And Bil. Your Mother-In-Law is only just finding that out, and realizing that no, the situation is not going to get better, and they will NOT be coming to your wedding. I’m sure she had to be the one to tell both your SIL and Brother-In-Law that, as they clearly told her they tried to reach out to you. Now you expect her to go on a cruise with you and your Fiance, and come to your wedding as though everything is great. You genuinely don’t see how that is putting her in the middle, or asking her to choose?

You’re adding just as much hurt as she is.  If you can’t see that then you’re being deliberately obtuse.

Post # 65
Member
16 posts
Newbee

Meh, don’t pay it. I doubt she’s even going to show up for the trip. Stop trying to contact her; let her reach out to you.

Post # 69
Member
5052 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

You are refusing to accept the consequences. You need the future sister in law out of your life. That’s fine, but not without consequences. The consequence being that you lose the future mother in law and anyone else supporting your future sister in law.

You made your decision but you have yet to accept the consequences and are somehow convinced that you are a victim in this.

Post # 70
Member
552 posts
Busy bee

If my 31 years has taught me anything, it is to avoid women who say things like “I hate drama and I avoid all of that”. It is never EVER the truth

Post # 71
Member
4454 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You don’t have to invite your SIL. I think everyone agrees it’s your call whether you want to or not.

The point people are trying to make (or at least that I am) is that you can’t expect these decisions not to have consequences. And you have to learn that it’s not a personal thing, or her choosing sides. Is she overall a good person? If so, you need to realize she is probably genuinely trying to do the best she can in a shitty situation, and learn to let some things go.

You can’t have an “abnormal” family situation, but expect everything to work out in a way that’s “normal” just because it’s your wedding. That’ s just not how life works. Your decision to cut your SIL clearly has consequences you didn’t realize it would have, but you have to accept that.

Just like it’s your right to cut her, it’s your MIL’s right to be upset by that and to take a step back.

Post # 73
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

You’ve blown this way out of proportion. Losing $1200? Yea that sucks. But this is the love of your life’s mother. And you don’t even have to lose $1200. Just pay the damn $100 and ensure she comes, keeping the peace. I mean it’s ridiculous to have such a rift created over such a small amount of money. 

 

Nothing anout this is extreme except for the drama youve built in your own head. Also find it super weird how you’re so quick to block your in-laws. That’s so petty, immature, and short sighted. 

Post # 74
Member
207 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
bluecutie00 :  I have toxic family members, so I get it, I really do. But, I suck it up and be the better person because, in the end, the drama will be there whether I engage or not. My brother is one of the most dramatic people I know, and he badmouths everyone to the moon and back. We all know it, we all ignore it, and we just go on with our lives. We certainly don’t let him affect us to the point of causing issues in our relationships with other people.

I have to say though, the “multiple” texts, calls, voice mails, etc. to your Mother-In-Law from your mother sounds like a surefire way to instigate drama. Why not call and leave a voice mail and maybe one text message? I don’t understand why your mom felt it necessary to call or text her over and over again over the course of two days to get $100 out of her, which, if I understand correctly, is spending money. Frankly, your mother’s actions sound dramatic, and the fact that you keep asking Mother-In-Law about saving money sounds controlling. I assume her food and lodging is covered by the $1200. What is the worse thing that would happen if she doesn’t have any spending money? It’s a lot of drama over something that really seems insignificant. 

I would reach out to my Mother-In-Law, apologize for my mother’s repeated calls and messages, and try to talk to her in a rational way. I imagine she is hurting because her children are not speaking to each other, and her son is not inviting his sister to his wedding. Try to see things from her point of view and try to smooth things over. There may come a day when your husband regrets that his mother was not at his wedding. Don’t be part of the reason he has that regret.

The topic ‘I KNEW it – Family Drama to the Extreme!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors